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View Diary: A 11 y.o. Boy commits suicide after homophobic bullying (761 comments)

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  •  I'm not lashing out at anyone. (0+ / 0-)

    I

    t's time you focused your anger on those who caused your pain.  For you to lash out at a stranger who is merely trying to express sadness and frustration shows you are long overdue for professional help.

    No it is not.  I understand why people were that way.   They were very wrong but their behaviour was understandable in an unenlightened age.  I have no anger against them personally only the situation and the perniciousness of human nature.

    I'm angry at the harm caused and not just the harm for me, the harm for all - including themselves.  But I'm not angry at them for being human.

    Best Wishes, Demena Economic Left/Right: -8.38
 Social Libertarian/Authoritarian: -6.36

    by Demena on Fri Apr 10, 2009 at 09:07:12 PM PDT

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    •  You lashed out at me (0+ / 0-)

      (Please reread what you wrote to me.)

      You cursed me out; you made accusations; you called me names.  I didn't deserve that anger but you had it in you and it went off like a bomb!  

      Your anger came from somewhere and it's pretty easy to see the start.  (I read your other posts...57 years ago, right?)

      And now you want to let "them" off the hook?  For being human?  They were understandable?

      On its face, this doesn't connect.  People hurt you and you have a lot of anger.  They caused your pain and deserve your response (if only theoretically after 57 years).  

      I suggest you look at this (with a therapist...I was one).  If you can clearly focus your feelings on those who deserve it, you will feel a sense of control over them, diminishing its power over you.

      My e-mail address is on my personal page if you want to discuss this privately.

      Good luck.

      (-7.75, -7.69) No matter how cynical I get, I just can't keep up - Lily Tomlin

      by john07801 on Fri Apr 10, 2009 at 09:24:47 PM PDT

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      •  Try reading again. (0+ / 0-)

        You cursed me out; you made accusations; you called me names.  I didn't deserve that anger but you had it in you and it went off like a bomb!  

        I cursed you out?  No, I cursed.  But I did not curse you.

        Your anger came from somewhere and it's pretty easy to see the start.  (I read your other posts...57 years ago, right?)

        Yep, I'm angry.  I have good cause to be.  Why is that a problem?

        And now you want to let "them" off the hook?  For being human?  They were understandable?

        On its face, this doesn't connect.  People hurt you and you have a lot of anger.  They caused your pain and deserve your response (if only theoretically after 57 years).  

        My therapist says it doesn't connect ether.  He can't understand why I don't hate those (and other) people.  But I don't.   He says that it is impossible for me to not hate people and I must be covering it up somehow.

        I suggest you look at this (with a therapist...I was one).  If you can clearly focus your feelings on those who deserve it, you will feel a sense of control over them, diminishing its power over you.

        Well, you see I have this very bad habit of reading people and a even greater bad habit of being right (not my assessment).  There is an old expression that to understand is to forgive all.  Well, I don't think it is quite true but in my case at least I refuse to blame people for acts that I would probably have performed had I been on the other side of the fence.

        How can I hate people for doing what I might have done?  Yes, I hate, but it is the situation, the weaknesses of us all that I hate.  I don't fault people, I fault their actions.

        My therapist wants me to let the hate out, to direct it at, well seemingly people.  That seems pointless and futile for me.

        In this particular case I was trying to point out that the problems are not "temporary".  They are bloody permanent.  It is a serious issue.  Not just for those that suicide but for those that stay alive.  You never heard of PTSD?

        If you are or were a therapist you should have got my point.    

        Best Wishes, Demena Economic Left/Right: -8.38
 Social Libertarian/Authoritarian: -6.36

        by Demena on Fri Apr 10, 2009 at 10:05:48 PM PDT

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        •  I did get your point (0+ / 0-)

          I agree with your therapist.

          (-7.75, -7.69) No matter how cynical I get, I just can't keep up - Lily Tomlin

          by john07801 on Fri Apr 10, 2009 at 10:29:24 PM PDT

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          •  Now that you know him/her so well, that you (1+ / 0-)
            Recommended by:
            Demena

            can diagnose?

            Be good to each other. It matters.

            by AllisonInSeattle on Sat Apr 11, 2009 at 03:51:37 AM PDT

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          •  No, you don't. (0+ / 0-)

            You don't have a clue.  You only said that as a put down.  Ie.  As fr ass you are concerned the argument is about you and I.  As far as I am concerned the argument is about facts and attitudes.

            When you have a legitimate cause to argue about and with, feel free.  But attempted put downs will get you no where.

            AbUsing therapist skills to try tpo make people feel bad won't work with me.  I truly believe you have shown your nature as a scoundrel even if you manage to avoid in in most of your life.

            Best Wishes, Demena Economic Left/Right: -8.38
 Social Libertarian/Authoritarian: -6.36

            by Demena on Sat Apr 11, 2009 at 05:38:16 AM PDT

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