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View Diary: Young, Disabled, & both parents dead, he came to ask for help. (253 comments)

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  •  Tell them to talk with their lawyer (8+ / 0-)

    about setting up a "special needs" trust for their disabled child, and find someone trustworthy to administer it; that way when they do pass, a portion of their estate can be used to provide care services to the person. (My in-laws have one for their younger son who has severe mental health issues though they've improved now that he's in proper treatment, as well as a standard trust covering their older son who's the one I'm married to.)

    Civility is the way of telling someone to go fuck themselves in such a way that the someone agrees it probably is a good idea.

    by Cali Scribe on Thu Jun 11, 2009 at 07:33:49 AM PDT

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    •  they've done all that (2+ / 0-)

      they are both very well educated and pretty well off, too. And there's a great support group for families with their diagnosis. But that's not always true, and I have to wonder if that was the case for the family in the diary. Which is why I raised it.

      Thanks for your great points.

      You know, one other thing that isn't frequently mentioned, but is also an issue with our friends: this is also often a big issue for siblings of these kids, who wind up with the responsibilities for their disabled brothers and sisters when the parents pass on. Some are more able to deal with that than others. Just a comment.

      Diversity may be the hardest thing for a society to live with, and perhaps the most dangerous thing for a society to be without - W S Coffin

      by stitchmd on Thu Jun 11, 2009 at 08:29:39 AM PDT

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      •  My in-laws already have a conservator (1+ / 0-)
        Recommended by:
        stitchmd

        for their younger son, just so that the spouse and I (mainly I because I've got the head for financials that he doesn't, although he's lovable in other ways) don't have to have the responsibility (and so that Son #2 doesn't feel like he's relying on Big Brother which would be another whole issue).

        He's currently in a group care facility, but the folks are working with both the conservator and the patient advocate to look into other living arrangements when he's "healthy" enough to leave -- he's really not going to be able to return home, and the folks want him settled in case they decide they really want to sell the house and move into something smaller (or possibly even an assisted living situation if needed).

        Civility is the way of telling someone to go fuck themselves in such a way that the someone agrees it probably is a good idea.

        by Cali Scribe on Thu Jun 11, 2009 at 03:26:52 PM PDT

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        •  you know, though, one thing (1+ / 0-)
          Recommended by:
          Blue Waters Run Deep

          your comment made me think about. Your family is apparently educated and has resources; our friends do, too. But what happens to kids whose parents don't have either education or resources? These are the ones, like the young man in the diary, who really fall through the cracks.

          Diversity may be the hardest thing for a society to live with, and perhaps the most dangerous thing for a society to be without - W S Coffin

          by stitchmd on Thu Jun 11, 2009 at 03:58:12 PM PDT

          [ Parent ]

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