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View Diary: My July 4th in prison, or what it really takes to be a foster family (67 comments)

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  •  The system makes no sense (4+ / 0-)

    I hope you can find a way to get him back, if that's what is supposed to happen.  I can't imagine doing what you guys do as foster parents.  Some days, I feel like I can barely handle my own kids.  Hats off to you for giving that child a chance to change and grow.

    •  Oh, he has to wait till he ages out to come back (3+ / 0-)

      if he's able to figure it out then. It isn't just me, see, he lost all his friends, local environment, food, climate, classes he was in, neighborhood friends, his entire routine of places we went.... I estimate at least 200 people, when you consider classes and groups. A core group of 30-50 people he knew very very well.

      They moved him states away. Only the social workers favored the move, they pumped up the people who were getting him to hate everyone who was arguing against the move. That would include myself, his counselor, his CASA who had been a career social worker and supervisor, the therapeutic day care director, and the judge. Yes, they moved him against the will of the judge in the case, loophole in the law.

      PLUS, get this. Standard policy is to NEVER place a child with the same family. Yes, I know, that makes as much sense as running over a child with a truck to see if that's helpful to them. The system is set up to despise the bonds foster families form, for the most part.

      I finally figured out the common thread in it all.

      Be good to each other. It matters.

      by AllisonInSeattle on Sun Jul 05, 2009 at 11:15:30 AM PDT

      [ Parent ]

      •  PS .I left out his bio-parents, they cut off all (2+ / 0-)
        Recommended by:
        thatvisionthing, two roads

        contact with both of them, and 2 of his bio-sisters. He knows they are all here and all love him. Especially his mom, we had pics of her all over the house.

        Even if not for me, I know he'd come back. Former fos-children who don't seek out their parents seek out their siblings.

        Be good to each other. It matters.

        by AllisonInSeattle on Sun Jul 05, 2009 at 01:50:27 PM PDT

        [ Parent ]

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