Skip to main content

View Diary: I Was a Gay Teenage Escort (279 comments)

Comment Preferences

  •  Also (6+ / 0-)

    I'm not at all a prude, but ...

    Where I am at the moment -- Portland, Oregon -- there is a nude dancing establishment right downtown where painfully young women dance in lingerie under a red light in the "store windows" looking right out onto the street.

    I think it is great for people who are seeking this kind of experience -- gawking at naked ladies -- to have it!  But for those of us who would rather not, is it so wrong to ask that it be behind closed doors?

    I won't tell anyone that Reagan was a turd.

    by bink on Sun Sep 20, 2009 at 10:09:02 PM PDT

    [ Parent ]

    •  Nothing at all. (14+ / 0-)

      Sexual liberty does not demand a public parade.  If it makes you feel any better, my clients were referred by other clients of the agency and we were booked by phone.

      What to do for the kids who didn't have the advantages I had?  Well, to start, we could treat homeless people like fellow citizens instead of criminals.  We can educate parents about what their gay kids go through and maybe fight through the noise of bigotry and homophobia, and we can keep examples of out and proud LGBT people out front as much as possible to show them there are people like them who found a way to live free.

      All mere words on my part, it's true.  But other than fighting for a social support system with our money and our votes and our words, I can't think of much else.

      Anyone?  These kids deserve better, and our government and society don't want anything to do with them.

      •  Exactly (2+ / 0-)
        Recommended by:
        Fabian, MrJayTee

        What two (or more) consenting adults want to do with/to/for one another in private should be their own business an no one else's. I have no intrinsic objection to strip clubs, sex clubs, fetish clubs, and the like. What I do object to are those folk (often, but not always, from the gay community) who insist that they have a right to do whatever they want, whenever they want, wherever they want. And that's not kosher. It's one thing when people are watching other people have sex because that's what they came expecting to see, and knew they would be seeing that. It's another thing altogether when someone (doubly so for someone underage, although the idea that something magically changes in one at the age of majority is ludicrous in my view) is accosted by that kind of sight when s/he/they did not expect it and did not want to see it.

        •  I'm wondering (0+ / 0-)

          Where do you find these gay people in flagrant displays of sexual activity for all the world to see? I've got to get out more, I guess. But I don't have a clue where to find what you say you have found.

          •  Parks, public bathrooms, and the like (0+ / 0-)

            There is a small (but vocal and militant) minority in the gay community that insists that part of being gay is the need to be able to have sex wherever/whenever, and that to keep it in private is somehow "assimilating" to the heteronormative oppressors of mainstream culture. Yeah, it's bullshit, but it's out there.

            •  And whose fault is it? (0+ / 0-)

              I know about certain after-dark areas in NYC like the notorious Ramble in Central Park. I'm not sure a voyeur could easily find a thrill there. The 'public' sex usually takes place hidden behind trees and bushes in the dark. Believe me, members of the general public are not likely to encounter the goings-on. Most people would think the place felt dangerous and get the hell out of there, long before seeing somebody's ding dong.

              The threat of nighttime sex in public places seems to get you all worked up. But the other side of the matter is how very dangerous private sex can be. You can meet someone, take him home, and find yourself an unwilling contribution to the city's crime statistics. I'd prefer that guys do it in the bushes of the Ramble around midnight than to take home a killer from a gay bar.

              In the 1970s and 80s and into the 90s, there were many safe venues for guys to get together for sex. They allowed a harmless outlet for the guys who get turned on by doing it in front of other people. They were well out of the public eye, and the politicians and the police tolerated them.

              Now Mayor Mike Bloomberg thinks that all such establishments are bad for the real estate business. In Germany and Switzerland there's a sex shop in every large train station and some airports. On Eighth Avenue in the 40s and 50s a thriving singles scene has grown up, the new spots interspersed among the many remaining porno shops. But who wants to consider evidence when big money may be at stake?

              So the cops have shut down most of the old gathering places. The police even use undercovers to arrest customers trying to hook up in peep shows, to build a case against the business where such stuff goes on -- though it's all out of sight of the public.

              The demand for casual sex being what it is, if you push it out of here, it will pop up over there. If it popped up in front of you, well, it might be more a result of Bloomberg's repression than due to a handful of loudmouths with a peculiar claim of anarchy.

              •  The people who insist they have a right (0+ / 0-)

                to fuck in public, that's whose fault it is.

                I'm not just talking about "nighttime" or out-of-the-way places. How about that hotel that was in the news recently for not only allowing, but encouraging (and marketing to) people to have sex in the windows, overlooking the new high-line park? That's one example. I've got nothing against people who like to screw while others watch them--but it should be the audience who decides that's what they want to see, not the performers. I don't live in New York, and I'm not singling it out--there are places like that hotel in every major city (and probably lots of not-so major ones, too).

                As to "safe venues," there are plenty of those: bedrooms, hotel rooms, clubs, and the like. We need to do it in parks and toilets why? (Not to mention that I've never been able to wrap my head around why the idea of fucking in a restroom--particularly the way most restrooms look these days--was supposed to be exciting.) Nor is there any greater guarantee of safety by taking that trick out to the local park as opposed to taking him home to your place. Indeed, probably rather less of one. All of which, I suppose, argues in favor of not hooking up with someone you don't know well enough to know he isn't looking to add you to the list of crime stats.

                Sex shops? Fine--as long as you can't see into them from the street. Again, anybody who wants to look at what they've got should be able to--by opening the door and walking inside. It shouldn't be on display for all and sundry to see, and especially if that's not something they're out looking for. The public space belongs to everybody--and that means it gets run by consensus of opinion, with due regard for the sensitivities and preferences of the minority. I'd argue that even in the Castro or the Village, emporia purveying sex toys should be required to keep their public displays muted. Just because 95% of the people likely to walk by their display are likely to have no problem with it is not sufficient cause to offend the other 5% (and neither is there any reason to believe that the 5% in question would consist only of prudish heterosexuals).

                If you're into casual sex with almost-total strangers, more power to you. But that doesn't give you license to inflict your choices on me, or on anyone else who hasn't made a similar one. That's basic respect and common decency--both qualities, I'm sorry to say, which seem to be in rather short supply these days.

    •  I meant "not at all" (6+ / 0-)

      As in, it's not "so wrong" that you want the sex business be conducted "behind closed doors", unless there is a specific neighborhood devoted to it as in A'dam.  

      Otherwise, adults only, in private.  We can be sex positive without being sex aggressive.

Subscribe or Donate to support Daily Kos.

Click here for the mobile view of the site