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View Diary: 40 years of being told to wait our turn (63 comments)

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  •  Sean, how long would you wait for (14+ / 0-)

    your rights? Really. Would you put off being able to marry? Would you put off being able to serve your nation proudly? Would you put off being able to arrange a funeral for the love of your life?

    Yes, things might get better in the next 12 months, then again they might not. If we do not insist on this being a priority it never will become one.

    Getting Democrats together and keeping them that way is like herding cats that are high on meth, through L.A., during an earthquake, in the rain -6.25, -6.10

    by Something the Dog Said on Tue Nov 17, 2009 at 11:50:36 AM PST

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    •  prop 8 took away my right to marry (2+ / 0-)
      Recommended by:
      Sychotic1, scotths

      so i dunno how long I'm gonna wait for that. And yah, we gotta push or nothing will ever happen.

      But the misinterpration in this diary of the historical context of LGBT issues over the last 40 years is frustrating.

      the greatest threat to america is its sense of exceptionalism.

      by SeanF on Tue Nov 17, 2009 at 12:01:30 PM PST

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      •  Keep in mind that... (2+ / 0-)
        Recommended by:
        Predictor, nokkonwud

        ...while Prop 8 took away your right to marry, CA has domestic partnerships which mirror marriage.  It's not equivalent, but plenty of LGBT people are fighting for scraps compared to California.  The world doesn't revolve around CA.

        •  Thanks for letting us know (3+ / 0-)
          Recommended by:
          DaleA, Predictor, Alec82

          Or else we would have continued to be deluded into thinking we were the center of the universe.

          Repubs - the people in power are not secretly plotting against you. They don't need to. They already beat you in public. (Bill Maher)

          by Sychotic1 on Tue Nov 17, 2009 at 12:07:34 PM PST

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        •  agreed (0+ / 0-)

          if it were me, i'd prioritize DADT (cuz that is proactively ruining people's careers and weakening our military) and somehow address workplace/living discrimination that happens in the less cosmopolitan areas of the country. Cuz that is also obstructing people's right to pursue life liberty and happiness.

          We have it great in CA. And in my city, San Francisco, it's nearly a utopian gay bubble.

          the greatest threat to america is its sense of exceptionalism.

          by SeanF on Tue Nov 17, 2009 at 12:08:24 PM PST

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          •  Well we need to address... (4+ / 0-)
            Recommended by:
            SeanF, Predictor, nokkonwud, smellybeast

            ...minimum partnership rights in the rest of the country, including the South.  And I think we need to do it with federal legislation.  

            •  I'd just as soon not prioritize (3+ / 0-)
              Recommended by:
              Predictor, smellybeast, Alec82

              I can, if I wish, read the diary as being over the top and ignoring the obvious progress that's been made. Still, when it comes down to it, we've gone from being virtually non-citizens, to being third-class citizens to being second-class citizens to being a higher grade of second-class citizens and (in some few places) legally equal at the local level while still being objects of prejudice and discrimination.

              The diarist was born a few weeks after the Stonewall riots. I turned 18 exactly a month before them. It's amazing what a difference in perspective can do. When the riots occurred I didn't even fully realize I was gay. To the extent I was aware of it, I viewed it with horror and I certainly didn't act on my feelings. It took several more years to come to grips with the idea that my attraction to other men was acceptable simply because it was part of who I was. At the time, that seemed like the most I could expect--simply not to be obligated to despise myself.

              It is well and appropriate that our expectations should have raised over the past forty years. Forty years ago we simply wanted the right not to be the official scapegoats of the era. Today we want--as we should--to be treated as equals to heterosexuals in all respects. Not because we're popular (obviously we aren't) but because we are just as good as anyone else.

              I want my equality and I want it now. Not next year, or next term. NOW. I've waited long enough.

              •  But your self-concept... (1+ / 0-)
                Recommended by:
                Predictor

                ...was a product of oppression.  That's what no one at the time fully understood.  The Freudians were pushing junk science, the historians hid all evidence of gays from the historical record and most references were to "perverts."  

                I don't think we really disagree on that.  As far as prioritization, we have to deal with facts on the ground.   Minimum partnership rights is part of that.  I want marriage everywhere, too, but I don't think we can get Congress to do that.  I've seen the concept of minimum partnership rights floated in the law blogs, though, and I think there's some merit to it.  

              •  Ok... (1+ / 0-)
                Recommended by:
                Alec82

                "Over the top" hurm... it wasn't actually my intention but if it is, my apologies.  And I (at least from my perspective) didn't ignore the progress we've made.  We've at least gone in the public perception from being "freaks", "perverts", "deviants", and other far more derogatory terms to "alternative lifestyle" as much as I hate that term.  Legally, we've gone from being put in a jail or a psychiatric hospital to a more neutral state where our rights are ignored but we're not imprisoned either.

                As for my own perceptions based on when I grew up and came out, the defining piece was AIDS.  When I was coming to the understanding of my homosexuality, it was "Gay Cancer".  Then it was about "God's Just Punishment" of homosexuals.  That and chatting with people over the BBS's and hearing about the funerals they attended this month.  And the people who didn't sign on any more and just quietly disappeared while we wondered if they were still alive.  Frankly, it's why I live in Atlanta and not SF... when I had the option to move to either one I chose Atlanta because every time I talked to friends in SF I heard about how many friends they'd lost that month and I didn't think I'd be able to handle that.

                Fortunately, like social awareness of homosexuality, medicine has improved and that time has passed (at least here in the States).  But we are still at the point where our concerns rate "when we can get to it" to our political representatives and I'm damn tired of the Democratic Party taking us for granted.  I know we don't have any reasonable alternatives right now, but we have to get the message to them somehow.

              •  I think this is the point! (0+ / 0-)

                When you came of age rights for gay people were in question. Now, the war has been won! The young people support gay rights by an overwhelming majority! There is no need for aggressive fighting. One by one the obstructions to gay people living a normal life will fall.

                The next one should be less than a year from now as Barney Frank has promised that a repeal of DADT will be in the next defense bill!

                For the life of me I can't figure out why with news like that you want to hold a boycott!

                The diarist was born a few weeks after the Stonewall riots. I turned 18 exactly a month before them. It's amazing what a difference in perspective can do. When the riots occurred I didn't even fully realize I was gay. To the extent I was aware of it, I viewed it with horror and I certainly didn't act on my feelings. It took several more years to come to grips with the idea that my attraction to other men was acceptable simply because it was part of who I was. At the time, that seemed like the most I could expect--simply not to be obligated to despise myself.

    •  Yep, and unfortunately... (9+ / 0-)

      Many of us can't wait another 6-12 months.  Particularly with things like losing your job because of DADT, the ability of your partner to obtain health benefits, the ability to sponsor your partner for citizenship so they can stay in the damn country, the list goes on...

      So while it may seem reasonable to state that things are getting better, for many of things are so close yet so far that we are really gnashing our teeth here.  We are finally, after 40 years, nearly there.  Let's get it done.

      The game is deemed more above the law than the players. -8.25, -6.25

      by smellybeast on Tue Nov 17, 2009 at 12:05:24 PM PST

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