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View Diary: A New Threat to the Sanctity of Marriage (178 comments)

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  •  With you. (2+ / 0-)
    Recommended by:
    La Gitane, ridemybike

    I actually think AshleyMadison is probably a good service to have available. :)

    I'm not for the hegemony of marriage overall and think we live in a very narrow spectrum of possibility. But if marriage there be, there must be marriage equality.

    •  You should check out the website. (11+ / 0-)

      Their ads are... disturbing.  I don't care if some couples choose to have open marriages.  That's none of my business.  But it seems clear that these sites are directed at people who don't have that kind of arrangement.  (There are sites for that too, though.)  

      No, these sites clearly promote the idea of sneaking around behind your spouse's back -- with all the assurances of discretion, of course -- because, well, sometimes you just need a little something extra.

      "Meteor Blades seems to do an outstanding job of community moderation despite his abject failure to be perfect." -- catilinus

      by Kaili Joy Gray on Sun Jan 17, 2010 at 10:54:32 AM PST

      [ Parent ]

      •  Oh. the ads are all over T.V. here. (2+ / 0-)
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        bfbenn, JeffW

        I don't find it disturbing. Just telling that there are a lot of unhappily married people, who go along for the ride cuz they're supposed to, just as with so many other cultural norms that people unthinkingly follow.

        Closed, open marriages. I dunno, don't care what other people do. If people want to sneak, so be it. I can't judge others. This at least seems like a safer way to do it than craigslist. I'm all about harm reduction.

        •  The unhappiness is the disturbing part to me. (7+ / 0-)

          One of the ads I saw mentioned "when divorce is not an option."  Why isn't divorce an option? Because it means losing, say, health insurance? Because some silly religious rule says you're not supposed to get divorced (but cheating on your spouse is a-okay)?  

          There's something very sad to me about people who feel trapped in a life they don't want and aren't willing, or aren't able, to change it.

          "Meteor Blades seems to do an outstanding job of community moderation despite his abject failure to be perfect." -- catilinus

          by Kaili Joy Gray on Sun Jan 17, 2010 at 11:34:43 AM PST

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          •  Well said, (3+ / 0-)
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            mcmom, JeffW, mamamedusa

            I think many use cheating as a means for getting out of the trap, and that is just wrong, IMO. If I was unhappy and felt trapped in my marriage I hope I would have the courage to end it before cheating.

            "We believe that the people are the source of all governmental power; that the authority of the people is to be extended, not restricted."-Barbara Jordan

            by sancerre2001 on Sun Jan 17, 2010 at 12:01:44 PM PST

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          •  Divorce simply isn't a financially viable (0+ / 0-)

            option for a lot of people.  

            It's got little to do with health insurance, and every thing to do with child support and the tax structure.

            A hell of a lot of people only stay together because they can't afford to divorce.

            Why is Obama letting his prefect be the enemy of the good?

            by JesseCW on Mon Jan 18, 2010 at 01:51:11 AM PST

            [ Parent ]

      •  Wow and yuk (3+ / 0-)
        Recommended by:
        mcmom, Matt Z, mamamedusa

        I don't understand why you would stay married if you spent your time planning to get some on the side.  

        No sanctity there.

      •  For some people marriage is just a game. (0+ / 0-)

        I personally don't believe in marriage because most people are not able (or willing) to stay with one person, whether their relationship is open or not.  When more partners are given legal rights, such as the ability to visit their ill loved one in the hospital, adoption, etc., then less people will bother with the outdated institution.  

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