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View Diary: We're on our own: dead gay kids (318 comments)

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  •  Indie, (8+ / 0-)

    It seems like we're peers. We both grew up, if I understand correctly, in socially-conservative religious community. That said, in my community homosexuality wasn't even discussed, much less condemned. I learned that it existed as some form of sexuality other than "You, me, let's have some fun" only when I learned my favorite aunt is a lesbian, in my early teens. (My parents were always cool with her being lesbian, and plus, Aunt M. is a marvelous human being, so I never learned to hate or fear.)

    So, I want to pull my weight here. What can a clueless straight guy like me do about this fiery serpent of bigotry that spends most of its time hidden, stealthily creeping through the collective cultural subconscious? It seems a little hopeless. I mean, we live in a country where teabaggers seem to exist as a political revolt against good government policy. How can anyone widely promote love of one's fellow man and woman regardless of sexual orientation, in that context? I know I want to teach my (hypothetical) kids to reject bigotry and speak out against it when they see it in their personal lives, but that seems like a drop into a bucket full of holes.

    "You know you're in love when you can't fall asleep because reality is finally better than your dreams." -- Dr. Seuss

    by Shaviv on Tue Mar 30, 2010 at 10:20:25 PM PDT

    •  Well, we're in a place (7+ / 0-)

      where the most hateful are loudest so you can just be louder, except with showing respect for glbt people. Ideally people would be nonstop in trying to get our legislation passed. Right now it's largely our own group calling and writing people, writing op eds and lte's. If a bunch of straight people wanted the same things we want and fought for them we'd all get further. It's the idea that a rising tide lifts all boats like FDR said.

      "As long as I think it might make [homophobic 'baggers] happy, I can never retire." - Barney Frank

      by indiemcemopants on Tue Mar 30, 2010 at 10:26:13 PM PDT

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    •  Straight allies can help win this war (8+ / 0-)

      Be out as an ally. When someone makes a gay joke, ask why they think that's funny. Treat being LGB or T like it's the most normal thing in the world... because it is.

      They always say time changes things, but you actually have to change them yourself. - Andy Warhol

      by 1864 House on Tue Mar 30, 2010 at 10:39:19 PM PDT

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    •  Truly great question! (4+ / 0-)

      Thank you!

      You begin by understanding that homophobia attacks your humanity as well as ours. You used the term "love your fellow man" and that cuts to the heart of it. Homophobia robs you of your birthright, too! No matter if you have the slightest inclination to be romantic or sexual with another man, it rips you off.

      It's part of your birthright to love and be intimate with other men without apology or justification. Father, brothers, sons, cousins, nephews, friends...hell, even enemies. You have the right to unreservedly and unapologetically LOVE MEN!

      Here's the money quote--

      It's not about sex--it's about RELATIONSHIP!!!

      You have the right to love the men in your life with tenderness, intimacy, and passion and without knee-jerk, homphobic boundaries. You have the right to love the gay and bisexual people in your life as much as the hetero-identified ones.

      You don't have to have sex with another man to be fulfilled in life. But if you can't love the men in your life, you're losing out (and so are they).

      So keep asking that question. You're on the right track!

      "[The GOP wanting to debate Obama is like saying] 'Let's see how tough Aquaman is when we get him in the water.' " --Seth Meyers

      by homogenius on Tue Mar 30, 2010 at 10:47:05 PM PDT

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