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View Diary: Elderly gay couple kept apart at the end of one's life (172 comments)

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  •  Visitation in context (14+ / 0-)

    Coincidentally, my friend was recently hospitalized and is now recovering in a skilled nursing facility. I visit him there daily, and did so while he was in the hospital. I could be his same-sex partner for all they know (I'm not), but my presence has never been questioned.
    Is same-sex partner visitation denial a state-by-state thing, or a hospital-by-hospital thing, or what?

    Besides what people have already said in response, it gets very dicy when the FAMILY gets involved.  Historically, the family can try to prevent the partner of their hospitalized relative from visiting or making end-of-life decisions, or post-life decisions.  And if the will isn't public it can disappear, or the family can challenge the will because the partner had "undue influence" on their child/parent.

    Granted, it is rare, but men have been kicked from their homes with no notice, unable to take anything but the clothes on their backs, because only their partner was on the deed to the house they lived in for decades.

    Fortunately this is getting rarer with the younger generations and their more "live and let live" attitude toward homosexuals, but the oldest generation still is waging war on these hatreds, and their boomer childen are (to generalize) the greedy boobs they have always been, and quite willing to cut the partner of a parent off if that means they can get stuff.

    Minority rights should never be subject to majority vote.

    by lostboyjim on Sun Apr 18, 2010 at 07:43:06 AM PDT

    [ Parent ]

    •  Interesting point (3+ / 0-)
      Recommended by:
      happymisanthropy, scotths, teloPariah
      I've wondered this myself.  Whether gay or hetero, what business does a hospital have in asking a visitor -- 'Do you have a sexual relationship with the patient'?  Talk about TMO!!  

      Visitors to a patient may not even have a sexual relationship.  They may just be the very best friends in the whole world that each other has.   What does it matter?   I think this relates not just to hospital visits, but even health insurance.   If you aren't married, why can't you designate another adult who lives in your home that you are willing to pay extra for a "family" policy, to insure, even if they are related to you, like a brother?

      One way to resolve many situations would be a very simple little law that says that any person who can demonstrate that they live at the same address has visiting rights at any health care facility, until or unless the patient requests that they not visit.


      •  Roommate restrictions (0+ / 0-)

        My best friend, and former roommate, is gay.  Several years ago he suffered a stroke (which he has recovered from).  The hospital made put no restrictions on his visitors, except to honor posted visiting hours.  I would be appalled to find myself in a hospital that did.

        The odd thing is that while we were roommates, he was not allowed to put me (or any other roommates) as a beneficiary for his life insurance policy (which was provided as part of his benefits package through his employer).  They did not discriminate on whether the roommate was same sex or not.  It seemed to have something to do with an idea that the roommate might try to do some injury in order to gain some money.

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