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View Diary: She Wore Pearls and Bruises. My Mom (224 comments)

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  •  She moved out of the area, so she's no (2+ / 0-)
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    pucklady, Onomastic

    longer in the same city as this guy. After she told me that she was staying him she ignored my calls for about two weeks. She called me back and I got into an argument with her over it. She said that "she didn't want to her what I had to say".

    She didn't live with this guy, but she kept making excuses to justifying her decision to running to him for help. He owed her money and she was trying to get some of it back. There were times that she kept inviting him over.

    This guy didn't physically abuse her. But he was a jerk to her. He verbally and mentally abused her, yet she kept coming back for more. She seems like the type who would use any "crisis" as an excuse to run to him.

    My worry about her is that, even though she's in another city, she'll find another guy like him. And then she'll get into the same patterns over and over again.

    And I just feel like I am enabling her, much like a drug addict, compulsive gambler, or alcoholic. And while I do feel bad for her, I can't make her want anything different. Until she gets help or leaves him I have to limit contact.

    It's not like I don't care and I would help her if she chose something different. However, I also don't want to enable her. What do you think the better course of action is?

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