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View Diary: Daily Kos Oilpocolypse ROV #28: Hopefully Cutting the Riser (339 comments)

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  •  The off color status report - NSFW (10+ / 0-)

    Off color metaphors, read at your own risk.  But in this situtation scatalogical metaphors are not only sadly apropos, they pale in comparison to reality.  Shrink this comment now if you have delicate sensibilities.

    Deepshit Horizan had a serious bout of explosive flatulence which developed into a serious case of incontinence.

    First they tried using a urinal (top hat) but that didn't work because someone clogged up the urinal with ice (methane hydrates).

    Then they tried the internal catheter (riser insertion tube tool) but it was too small and it leaked around the catheter.

    Then they tried a barium enema (top kill).  That didn't work so they administered suppositories (junk shot) and tried another enema.  However, it worked more like a colema than a retention enema so they could get the barium sulfite to stay put.  

    Then they tried the portable urinal (root? tool).

    Next they are going to preform a double castration with a cigar cutter (crunch) and a portable band saw (lizzy) and then try an eternal catheter (LMRP Cap) on what is left of (Gertrude) Hedwig's Angry Inch.

    Meanwhile, they are boring deepshit horizon a new asshole or two (relief wells).

    And much of this was caught on video with a million people watching the scat porn.

    Do you really want to know what they will come up with next?

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