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View Diary: KosAbility:  Who gets three kinds of cancer? (133 comments)

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  •  A comment I got in my diary last week (7+ / 0-)

    I linked to it in the last diary but it was late.  I find this kind of comment is the worst thing someone can say to someone like me with cognitive problems caused by ms.

    Oh, I get it. (0+ / 4-)
    You're calling me an asshole for supposedly picking on the poor cognitively-impaired person. (I couldn't figure out what you were insulting me over until I re-read that post.)

    Come on. You're obviously intelligent enough to understand and answer the question if you wanted to. You just chose to toss red herrings instead. I'm very sorry about your condition, and wish you all the best in dealing with it, but I'm not going to patronize you by pretending that it excuses your refusal to answer the question, or your outright lie above. It doesn't.

    by mll on Sun Jun 20, 2010 at 09:15:21 PM PDT
    [ Parent | Reply to This ]

    Check out the whole link if  you want.  Last week when the comment was made it took Avila to hr him.  Other people came to diary but did not hr.  That hurt as much as the comment.  

    I was really upset by the comment because it is the kind of thing that stays in the back of my mind. Sometimes I tell people that I have cognitive problems due to ms and ask them to bare with me because it may take a while for me to get my point across effectively.  Now when I want to say that this comment will be in the back of my mind.  I am already hard enough on myself.  My nuero that did the cognitive evaluation said in the report that I often think that problems I have are due to character flaw rather than what they are symptoms from the progression of ms.  

    •  I saw your comment last week, allie, (6+ / 0-)

      but not until the diary was over. I thought about it a few days later when I read your wonderful diary about a book about Haiti. Nothin' wrong with you, in my opinion!

      I have a suggestion, but please remember that free advice is worth what it costs you.

      Don't tell strangers in a thread about your personal health problems. If someone has challenged you, and not in a nice way, they don't deserve to know anything about you. Look at your comment again, the one that triggered the challenge, and - if you can see where you might have erred - laugh it off. I have blamed my own slips on high altitude, blonde hair, too much anesthesia, and brain farts, to name just a few.

      It's all a matter of attitude, useful for all of us as we age even if we don't have ms: Take your subject matter seriously, but don't take yourself too seriously. Be the first to laugh at yourself. It takes true courage to walk the path you're on, so please cut yourself some slack. You're doing fine. ♥

      "Those who can make you believe absurdities can make you commit atrocities." ~ Voltaire

      by KelleyRN2 on Sun Jun 27, 2010 at 04:07:57 PM PDT

      [ Parent ]

      •  Thanks (4+ / 0-)
        Recommended by:
        Diogenes2008, KelleyRN2, Aji, swampyankee

        And the thing is I didn't slip up.  We just did not agree about the issue.  I was right.  I actually did not tell the commenter directly.  It is kind of a long story.

        I often mention it in my diary just to let people know because you can't see it and it makes me a bit less self conscience when I tell people about it.  You know like there is an explanation for me using the wrong words etc....   If I tell people I feel less self conscience and more free to talk.   I don't know if that makes sense.  

        Thanks again for being here.  I am glad  you like the Haiti diary.  I have been working on the next part of the book for Thursdays diary.  If you have time and want to come to the diary that would be great.  It is taking me so long to finish writing about the first chapter:-)

    •  Not, not NOT a character flaw! (6+ / 0-)

      Gah!  Your neuro is right.  That people actually think this infuriates me, but I know they do - as though you don't beat yourself up enough already.  Three things about that comment really got my back up:

      1. You're open enough to be up-front about the issue, so why not accept it at face value, instead of implying that you're using it as an excuse or to troll for sympathy?
      1. By that comment, s/he sort of acknowledged the issue, so then why keep trying to pin you down on something when you've already explained that you can't do it right now, but there are resources to answer the question?
      1. Why be so goddamned rude in the first place?

      Actually, 3) is the one that pisses me off the most.

      Authentic Native American silverwork, jewelry, photography, and other art here.

      by Aji on Sun Jun 27, 2010 at 04:10:35 PM PDT

      [ Parent ]

    •  Check this out, Allie (4+ / 0-)
      Recommended by:
      allie123, Diogenes2008, Ebby, Aji

      This person  does not deserve another moment of your time. Ick!

      "Those who can make you believe absurdities can make you commit atrocities." ~ Voltaire

      by KelleyRN2 on Sun Jun 27, 2010 at 04:19:56 PM PDT

      [ Parent ]

    •  I'm just going to guess, but (3+ / 0-)
      Recommended by:
      allie123, KelleyRN2, Aji

      Am I right that your cognitive problems tend to come and go? And that when people catch you during a "good" day (maybe "hour" or "minute" is more appropriate) they automatically assume that anything you can do then, you can do all the time and if you can't, it means you're just not trying?

      If Nixon was cocaine for the resentful psyche, Palin is meth—Andrew Sullivan

      by ebohlman on Sun Jun 27, 2010 at 06:09:04 PM PDT

      [ Parent ]

      •  Partly correct (2+ / 0-)
        Recommended by:
        KelleyRN2, Aji

        The problems for me fluctuate in severity and it is unpredictable when I will be able to remember stuff that I know and when I am rested I do much better in general.  But the problems I have are relatively rare with ms as far as how bad they are.  And there are things that I can not do now matter what.  My processing is slow so I can only do 1 thing at a time and it has to be quiet. I am 42 at 39 my neuro suggested Aricept, the medicine for Alzheimer's.  While my ms won't get that bad aricept helps ms cognitive problems.  My insurance doesn't cover it and I did not want to depend on samples from my nuero for the rest of my life.  Because once you start taking it you can't stop.  

        I used to write well.  Now I can not think about what I want to say and how to write it at the same time.  And for some reason I have a lot of trouble with basic stuff like syntax and just remember the right word to use etc...  
        Most people with ms that have memory and even processing problems.

        I went from mild problems to well not good:-)  I think this is what my neuro said,  sometimes my short term memory learns something and passes it to my middle term memory so I think I know it but then my middle term memory doesn't pass it to longterm  memory.  And that it what makes my case harder to learn. Either that or it gets lost somewhere else in addition to getting lost after short term memory.

        I don't know if that makes sense.  With ms cognitive problems don't usually get better.  They may fluctuated daily but they don't get better.  

        I think the answer to your question about people think I am not trying, nobody that knows me thinks that but people on the internet yes.  The other thing is they don't realize how much time and energy it takes me to learn the Haiti stuff and write anything that is at all coherent.  It is like I can learn about one thing at time.  I had learned about the hcr bill and now Haiti.  But I can't follow current stuff so I know little about the oil spill.  It is one thing at a time.

        Sorry, this is a whole book.  I didn't mean for it to be this long.

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