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View Diary: I Want To See My Son Marry Before I Die. (273 comments)

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  •  come to Massachusetts (2+ / 0-)
    Recommended by:
    Wyo Wrangler, Jake Goad

    home of marriage equality!

    "Politics is like driving. To go backward put it in R. To go forward put it in D."
    I don't want to take my country back. I want to take my country FORWARD.

    by TrueBlueMajority on Fri Sep 17, 2010 at 02:57:10 PM PDT

    •  oooh, you may have screwed up (0+ / 0-)

      I have had my ass jumped for suggesting they all take a little trip to Vermont.  Apparently I don't get it.  You may not either.  However, I was being a prick and you are being nice.

      My point is if the diarist wants to talk about making sure that glbt folks are afforded the same civil rights as everyone else, then he should write it in that context.  To boil this argument down to "I want to see my gay son marry before I die" is narrow and trivial.  After all, he can see his gay son marry tomorrow if he really wants to.  All they have to do is take a little trip to Vermont (or Mass).

      Of course, you probably were sincere in your suggestion.  I was being an asshole.  I guess therein lies the difference.

      •  yes, i was being nice (0+ / 0-)

        i also have a reputation on this blog for being a strong supporter of marriage equality for many years, so i am also being sincere.

        being an insincere prick doesn't work for me, or for most people, actually.

        "Politics is like driving. To go backward put it in R. To go forward put it in D."
        I don't want to take my country back. I want to take my country FORWARD.

        by TrueBlueMajority on Fri Sep 17, 2010 at 05:44:01 PM PDT

        [ Parent ]

      •  You finally get it! (4+ / 0-)

        After having posted the same dumb comment three or four times, you finally say something sensible:

        I was being an asshole.

        On that we can certainly agree.

        Maladie d'Amour, Où l'on meurt d'Aimer, Seul et sans Amour, Sid'abandonné

        by FogCityJohn on Fri Sep 17, 2010 at 07:36:14 PM PDT

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    •  I got married in MA, but still live in NC (1+ / 0-)
      Recommended by:
      TrueBlueMajority

      I absolutely loved Boston and am happy that there are states that are so inviting and welcoming.

      Even with such states we still have a long ways to go in getting federal recognition and equality in all states.

      •  Massachusetts is moving the Overton Window (0+ / 0-)

        some folks had their sixth anniversary this year, and the sky has not fallen.

        all the dire things predicted by fundies have not happened.  we are proving them wrong every single day, and mainstreaming the idea of same sex marriage for the rest of the country.

        yay Massachusetts!

        "Politics is like driving. To go backward put it in R. To go forward put it in D."
        I don't want to take my country back. I want to take my country FORWARD.

        by TrueBlueMajority on Fri Sep 17, 2010 at 05:48:37 PM PDT

        [ Parent ]

    •  No. (4+ / 0-)

      I want the federal government to recognize my son's marriage as they would mine own. I respect that Mass has that, but I'm not moving, nor should I have to, and when we return NC won't recognize their marriage. The federal government won't recognize their marriage. I. Want. Equality. I appreciate your suggestion, but that's not an option.

      "Don't compare me with the Almighty, compare me with the alternative!" --VP Biden

      by Socratic Method on Fri Sep 17, 2010 at 06:42:14 PM PDT

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      •  I support that (3+ / 0-)

        Going to MA for my marriage, and living in NC, meant many of my family couldn't attend.

        We threw one heck of a large wedding reception back here in NC last year with 100+ people and all the family and friends, but Socratic Method is right, its not equality until its equality for all.

        •  Agreed... (1+ / 0-)
          Recommended by:
          TrueBlueMajority

          and congrats! whereabouts in NC you from? Hell, we might be closer than we think!

          "Don't compare me with the Almighty, compare me with the alternative!" --VP Biden

          by Socratic Method on Fri Sep 17, 2010 at 10:08:42 PM PDT

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          •  From Mt Airy (2+ / 0-)

            originally out in the north west part of the state.  Been living calling the triangle area home for the past several years first for undergrad and now for grad school.  My husband is from Charlotte and also in grad school out here.

            Have you considered posting this blog entry on BlueNC.com too?  Even though the push is for nationwide equality, a powerful story like this I think ought to be shared far & wide, especially with the NC GOP trying every year to amend NC's constitution to ban marriage equality.  They've always failed in the past b/c with Dem control of the General Assembly it gets buried in 4 committees and nothing can survive 4 committees, but given the possibility of them taking over the General Assembly this election, I'm worried that we may take a step backwards in the next few years.

            Anyways, I'm always happy to see another ally for equality in NC =)

            •  Thanks! (1+ / 0-)
              Recommended by:
              Jake Goad

              I'll check it out. I'm in the Peidmont area. Valdese, NC. Check out my diary history--I've had a few too many beers at this point to care to give a link--called "Outrage in My Hometown." Check it out. A little insight as to how conservative my neck of the woods is. But I love it here. The fact that we went blue made me weep on election night, but like you I'm scared we're about to take a dangerous leap right. BTW...you voting Marshall?! We got to get Burr out, my man. My sons keep telling me she's got no shot, but I'm making them vote and phone bank. Elaine is great. Kagan is far from pefect, but to have two female DEM senators would be just...ahhhhhh.

              "Don't compare me with the Almighty, compare me with the alternative!" --VP Biden

              by Socratic Method on Fri Sep 17, 2010 at 11:07:23 PM PDT

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              •  Yeah, I'm backing Marshall all the way (1+ / 0-)
                Recommended by:
                Socratic Method

                and I think she has a shot.  The last poll done by Public Policy Polling (which I trust on this race b/c they are highly rated & they are based in North Carolina so they know area) had her within 5 point of Burr a few weeks ago.

                Granted he's going to build a little bit of a lead b/c he can put on tv ads now thanks to his large warchest, but with 3 debates schedule for Oct, and when Marshall gets her ads out there closer to elections when voters are paying attention... its going to be close.

                Good on ya for getting them involved!

        •  congrats on the wedding in MA (1+ / 0-)
          Recommended by:
          TrueBlueMajority
          i got to officiate several weddings here in SF during the time between the california supreme court decision that the ban on same sex marriage was unconstitutional up and until the california supreme court upheld prop 8.

          all the marriages i performed are still in fact legal and binding, but only in california.  since there is no full faith and credit guaranteed those who are married in mass. or california  or iowa etc., if they need to relocate to another state that does not recognize same sex marriages, all of the small benefit bestowed on the married couple by the state that married them is lost when they move to a new state.

          and civil unions?  a civil union is not the same contract as a state-sanctioned marriage.  no full faith and credit there at all.

          socratic method's point is aching and really the whole point of the marriage debate p- why are we denying our kids, our siblings, our neighbors access to the same state-sanctioned contract that our parents had, that our friends have, that only some of our kids can have...

          it boggles the mind.

          _

          There is a certain charm in the purity of irrelevance. But the more relevant you get, the more real you have to get. (Barney Frank)

          by dadanation on Sat Sep 18, 2010 at 01:17:25 AM PDT

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      •  i do understand (1+ / 0-)
        Recommended by:
        Socratic Method

        you want nationwide equality, as do I.

        and right now MA marriages are not recognized in other states.

        but eventually we WILL get marriage equality.

        and when we do, all the people who are married now in Massachusetts (and the other states where same sex marriage is already legal) WILL have their marriages recognized nationally.

        to really get to the bottom line about it, the sad truth is that marriage equality may not come in your lifetime, or mine.

        but if you see your son get married in Massachusetts, you will see a legal (and sacramental, if that is your thing) marriage that you know will be recognized nationally SOMEDAY, even if you do not live to see it.  just as the people who had interracial marriages before it was legal everywhere knew that someday Loving v Virginia would come along and their marriages would be recognized everywhere.

        and you do not have to move here, you can just have the ceremony here.

        again, I know this is the incremental argument that enrages people who are tired of waiting.

        but you can see your son get married before you die.

        what you want, and what I want, is for your son's marriage to be recognized by the federal government before you die.  for your son's full equality before the law to be respected before you die.  for your son to be able to be married in North Carolina, your home.  i agree that these are important civil rights issues.

        and I am working alongside you to do everything possible to make that a reality for you, and for him, and for all the other parents and all the other sons and daughters who are in the same boat.

        "Politics is like driving. To go backward put it in R. To go forward put it in D."
        I don't want to take my country back. I want to take my country FORWARD.

        by TrueBlueMajority on Sat Sep 18, 2010 at 05:13:54 AM PDT

        [ Parent ]

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