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View Diary: When I Stopped Rewarding My Son for Good Behavior (100 comments)

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  •  The whole returning someone's valuables... (1+ / 0-)
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    thing is an interesting case with a lot of societal convention around it.  I recall later giving a guy a $25 Trader Joe's gift certificate for finding my wallet and returning to to me, money and all.

    But I particularly agree with you when you say...

    It was like a slap in the face.  Doing what's right needs to be done BECAUSE it is right, not because you expect something in return.  Doing it makes you feel good about yourself, and if you replace that with expectations, the good feelings go away.

    I think you are right on there!

    But I personally would not call feeling good about doing the right thing a "selfish" thing.  There has to be a different word for it...being in that larger affirming social flow of community.  Our language just doesn't have the word there, at least that I can think of.

    Cooper Zale Los Angeles

    by leftyparent on Fri Nov 19, 2010 at 04:41:50 PM PST

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    •  Any being has to be selfish in the sense (0+ / 0-)

      that it looks out for its self - otherwise the species will not survive during evolution. We have added altruism to our concepts presumably because we are a communal species, but life would not work if altruism were to override selfishness all the time.

      He who can make you believe absurdities, can make you commit atrocities.

      by Sophie Amrain on Fri Nov 19, 2010 at 05:11:49 PM PST

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      •  That makes sense to me... (0+ / 0-)

        though as a social species it is generally in our larger self-interest to be effectively in community with each other, which leads to all the Golden Rule stuff.

        Cooper Zale Los Angeles

        by leftyparent on Fri Nov 19, 2010 at 05:15:08 PM PST

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