Skip to main content

View Diary: When I Stopped Rewarding My Son for Good Behavior (100 comments)

Comment Preferences

  •  Beware of burnout. (0+ / 0-)

    They might work very well with the child for the first decade.  Afterwards, however, that same child may become so jaded by manipulative words and actions, that their use in "normal life" settings like the modern workplace causes quite counterproductive impulses of anger and rebellion.  Power utilized unnecessarily over the child can lead to a mighty ornery and cantankerous adult.  And you might also consider, that too many gold stars handed out to a child in public classrooms, not only quickly proves just how ephemeral and meaningless gold stars are, but can make that child a target for school bullies when the teacher isn't present.

    •  The goal is to let young people fully... (0+ / 0-)

      realize themselves and develop their own "compass" that guides their own direction.

      Cooper Zale Los Angeles http://www.leftyparent.com

      by leftyparent on Sat Nov 20, 2010 at 09:50:25 AM PST

      [ Parent ]

      •  Oh, absolutely. (0+ / 0-)

        I think I got the comment under the wrong section; I was irritated by the Zen Trainer's admission of having been a professional child-manipulator for decades.  I was raised by one.

        •  I know a fair amount of parents who are proud... (0+ / 0-)

          of being able to skillfully wield that manipulation.  Individuals who are otherwise humanistic in their approach to life.  It seems to be a conventionally accepted parenting practice.

          Cooper Zale Los Angeles http://www.leftyparent.com

          by leftyparent on Sun Nov 21, 2010 at 07:44:56 AM PST

          [ Parent ]

          •  It may be semantics. (0+ / 0-)

            There are a lot of professional motivators who I very much admire. Parker Palmer, Richard Bolles, Thich Nhat Hanh, Sister Chang Khong come to mind. I don't feel manipulated by them, I feel inspired and encouraged

            Tracy B Ann - technically that is my signature.

            by ZenTrainer on Sun Nov 21, 2010 at 10:01:13 AM PST

            [ Parent ]

            •  I'm talking about parents who will... (0+ / 0-)

              cite chapter and verse about all the things their kid is into and will be doing towards the goal of good college prep and career prep.  It feels like "stage-managing".

              Cooper Zale Los Angeles http://www.leftyparent.com

              by leftyparent on Sun Nov 21, 2010 at 02:15:03 PM PST

              [ Parent ]

        •  I was raised by an abusive fireman. (0+ / 0-)

          Yet, I've met a lot of fireman that I like.

          Tracy B Ann - technically that is my signature.

          by ZenTrainer on Sun Nov 21, 2010 at 09:54:39 AM PST

          [ Parent ]

Subscribe or Donate to support Daily Kos.

Click here for the mobile view of the site