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View Diary: Books That Changed My Life: Writing Down the Bones (102 comments)

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  •  Fosamax (alendronate) (1+ / 0-)
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    I was one of the 6% with severe muscle, bone, joint distress.  I am never one of the 6%.

    My social life has been on the skids for years.  I think I repel people, as a friend of mine said about herself.  

    I just finished a move, surprisingly, the hardest move ever, to Hawaii.  So it's not weather.  It's not easy here.  The ocean beaches are steep, real steep and wild.  I am living in a nice place, everything is fine.  There is a culture shock going on.

    •  I hope we will get to know each other better, (2+ / 0-)
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      88kathy, 1864 House

      over time, probably mostly in Book Diaries.

      I am generally pretty comfortable spilling my guts, though there are things that I just don't talk about on DKos. I introduce these caveats because it can be dangerous to jump into intimacy before friendship, and we're already in pretty deep waters here.

      I'm sorry to hear about your bad reaction to Fosamax, and hope that you have a sharp doctor in Hawaii, who can settle you into an effective medication with less side effects.

      I had a somewhat similar experience to yours, in moving from Chicago to LA. I had run aground in Chicago, was sick of the winters, and Southern California represented sunshine and hope, and LA was full of attractive diversions.

      I should have been waking up eager, with so many new things to see and enjoy. Instead I awoke to a future that looked like a narrow tunnel, and agonized over the entire sphere of possibilities that I could imagine: get out of bed, or pull the covers over my head.

      Eventually I started hanging out in bookstores, took some UCLA extension classes, and met my last girlfriend in one. Joining activities made it a lot easier for me to find people with shared interests.

      Building a new life, growing any kind of social existence out of all the strangers you meet, takes a lot of energy. I hope you have, or soon find, a couple or a few good friends, the essential foundation to making Hawaii feel like home.

      Writing more diaries - perhaps one about the sublime but unsettling beauty of Hawaii? - could help perk you up until then.

      "Problems can't be solved by the same level of thinking that created them" Einstein

      by Brecht on Fri Apr 29, 2011 at 12:23:01 PM PDT

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      •  I feel my Fosmax reaction could help someone. (2+ / 0-)
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        Brecht, kait

        I have always been very public with it.  I kind of knew it, because of on-line research.  But, I never thought it could happen to me.  It did, and there is nothing to 'rinse' you out.  You just have to wait till it goes away.  It almost is.

        My medical is wonderful, knock on wood.  New DR here seems great.  

        We'll see on the friends.  Did you know when you ask someone if they are a native of Hawaii, they don't think you are asking if they are born there?  They are shocked and look at you like you have lost your mind.  Then it clicks.  You're not from around here are you.  But they are not East Coast.  They don't say that.  So then they start mumbling something about when their family arrived in Hawaii FROM SOMEWHERE ELSE.  Oops.  I just wanted to ask you if you could help me identify this toad I found in my yard, I didn't mean that I thought that your parents didn't arrive in Hawaii within the last 2 centuries.  It is very ethnic.  Any form you fill out here asks you to choose from 15 or 20 different categories.  I have just started putting American in the other category.  Well so much for friends.  

        I gave up driving.  I hate to drive.  That was a poor decision for getting to know people in a new place.  I used to work for a shipping company.  Every day we shipped boat load after boat load of cars to Hawaii.  That was years ago.  I couldn't believe that private cars were even allowed in Hawaii.  I'm thinking much of the beauty has been paved.  And the sad part is there just aren't that many places to go.  Now there are even less but we all have cars to get there.

        •  OT Interesting comment, for many reasons (2+ / 0-)
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          Brecht, 88kathy

          but, since we have proved that there is no "white" gene, I am having the opposite problem, being in the south.  I've tried about five different things, and the other person inevitably gurgles and says it's for statistical purposes only. Got any ideas? I'm considering that old saw about the three kinds of lies next.

        •  I would like to respond to each paragraph, but (2+ / 0-)
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          88kathy, kait

          I don't know what to say. Not that I mind you saying it - I'm a good listener.

          My mom ran into the same problem with not wanting to drive in her retirement. Since she lived in the country, she became very dependent on the kindness of neighbors.

          At least your Fosamax side effects will be better soon.

          You had reasons for moving to Hawaii. There are people out there you can relate to, there is happiness to find. When I feel sad or angry, I try to get out and walk in the sunshine, ideally along Venice Beach. So find whatever feels like a half-full glass, and try to drink it every day. I'm not pretending it's easy. I'm just saying you have to, because giving up and letting go is worse.

          "Problems can't be solved by the same level of thinking that created them" Einstein

          by Brecht on Fri Apr 29, 2011 at 11:09:45 PM PDT

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          •  I am only 4 months into the Hawaii adventure. (2+ / 0-)
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            Brecht, kait

            You are right I need to get out more.  And get more of a routine.

            I loved my little town in Kansas, I could walk everywhere.  But it was Kansas.

            I just got reminded we are going to do a beach clean-up tomorrow AM.  I never go to a park or walking without a trash bag.  I don't know why I get such a kick out of picking up trash in the park.  I asked for one of those trash picker uppers for Mothers' Day but no one thinks I am serious.

            •  Here's wishing you courage to follow your wisdom. (2+ / 0-)
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              88kathy, kait

              I have trouble with it myself. I'm doing okay this month - spring is a mood elevator for me.

              "I don't know why I get such a kick out of picking up trash in the park." Perhaps you just like to be part of the solution, instead of ignoring the problem?

              "Problems can't be solved by the same level of thinking that created them" Einstein

              by Brecht on Sat Apr 30, 2011 at 06:27:59 AM PDT

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