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View Diary: Transition Road: Am I still their mom if I have a beard? (88 comments)

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  •  the mourning meme... (5+ / 0-)

    ...is an interesting one.  

    I dropped a friend cold for it.  But I do get it, or think I do.  

    There are some relationships that were changed profoundly by transition.  In my case, bi men who had seen me as an ally felt terribly betrayed.  And of course, almost every ex -- boy or girl -- felt a bit weird about it.   And I can hardly say that someone in that spot isn't entitled to feel sad about the matter.

    But some people took it way too damn far.  At some point, you're still sitting there, you're still you, and they are all "I'm mourning the loss of the person I used to know".  And it's like, what??? At some point it crosses into "why aren't you decently dead"?

    There's so many issues the commenter's post touches on though...a person who is transitioning often goes from being a member of society, able to offer a life as a normal person and all that conveys, to being someone fighting for the most basic sort of stuff, in the world and in themselves.  Everyone close to you is suddenly queer by proxy, and whatever they had hoped for often is overshadowed by the enormous challenges at hand.  

    I often feel very bad for my parents, who have endured ridicule and contempt in their small community because of me.  They've been nothing but supportive, for the most part.  But they never asked for this, and people are so very unkind.

    ...j'ai découvert que tout le malheur des hommes vient d'une seule chose, qui est de ne savoir pas demeurer en repos dans une chambre.

    by jessical on Thu May 05, 2011 at 02:48:38 PM PDT

    [ Parent ]

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