Skip to main content

View Diary: My Mother the Truther (150 comments)

Comment Preferences

  •  Maybe trutherism was the final straw . . . (23+ / 0-)

    because it just demonstrates how your mother adamantly refuses to deal in reality.  From what you've written, she's lived her life in an alcoholic fantasy world, where she has no responsibility for anything that happens around her.  

    FWIW, your experience is not unlike my father's.  He was raised by alcoholic parents.  They used him as a pawn in their battles with each other.  Long after he'd left home, married, and had children, my grandmother would call him on the phone in the middle of the night complaining to him about something my grandfather, my uncle, or some other relative had supposedly done to her.  As if it were somehow his fault that she'd made her life a mess.  

    My father realized at a young age that he had a choice.  He could either go along with the fantasy that his parents were living (and thus simply deny reality) or he could get the hell out.  He chose the latter option and got out as soon as he could.  Because he made that choice, I only met my grandmother (his mother) a few times in my life, although she lived until I was about 30.  My father refused to expose us to her dysfunction.

    Where am I going with all this?  I'm honestly not sure.  But I think you need to realize that you're perfectly sane.  You're also not doing anything wrong or immoral or disrespectful by putting a distance between yourself and your mother.  You have no obligation to subject yourself (or your children) to your mother's behavior.  She's an adult.  It's up to her to get her life together if she wants a relationship with you and her grandchildren.  This is out of your hands.  Only your mother can heal herself.  I guess my basic message is that you should give yourself a break here and just realize the responsibility for this mess lies elsewhere.

    "Ça c'est une chanson que j'aurais vraiment aimé ne pas avoir écrite." -- Barbara

    by FogCityJohn on Tue May 24, 2011 at 12:46:03 PM PDT

Subscribe or Donate to support Daily Kos.

Click here for the mobile view of the site