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Please begin with an informative title:

He was young and needed the money.
He drives a truck. His daughters are available.
And he's going to lose to Elizabeth Warren.
Poor, poor Sen. Scott "I drive a truck and both my daughters are available wink wink" Brown. Election Day (aka, his Day of Doom) is more than a year away, and he's already getting spooked by his competition.

Earlier this week, the future senator from Massachusetts Elizabeth Warren had a little fun at Brown's expense at the Democratic debate:

She also made the audience laugh and applaud with the second question, which asked each candidate how they paid for college, since Brown posed nude for Cosmopolitan to pay.

"I kept my clothes on," she quipped. She added that she borrowed money to go to a public university and had a part-time job.

See, it's funny 'cause it's true. Unlike Sen. Centerfold Pimp Daddy, Elizabeth Warren didn't have to take her clothes off to get herself through school. So of course the senator responded in the classiest way possible:
INTERVIEWER: Have you officially responded to Elizabeth Warren’s comment about how she didn’t take her clothes off?


Ha ha ha! Get it? Elizabeth Warren is unattractive and shouldn't remove her clothes! Funny! Although Brown is a little ahead of schedule; usually the tired, sexist attacks don't come until much closer to Election Day.

But Brown had some other incomprehensible defenses:

You know what, listen: Bottom line is, you know, I didn’t go to Harvard.
Oh, so the bottom line is which candidate didn't go to Harvard? Okay:
Warren graduated high school at age 16, a state debate champion with a full scholarship to George Washington University. She later transferred to the University of Houston.
All of which she did fully clothed, by the way. Next?
You know, I went to the school of hard knocks. And I did whatever I had to do to pay for school.
Yeah. He was young and needed the money. Know what? So was Elizabeth Warren. Know what she did? She earned a scholarship. Know what she didn't do? Take her clothes off for money. Next?
And for people who know me, and know what I’ve been through, mom and dad married and divorced four times each. You know, some real challenges growing up.
Ohhhhhhhh. He had challenges growing up. Unlike Elizabeth Warren:
When she was twelve, her dad suffered a heart attack. The store where he worked changed his job and cut his pay, and the medical bills piled up. The family lost their car, and her mom went to work answering phones at Sears to pay the mortgage.

Elizabeth got her first job at nine, babysitting for a family across the street from her house. She started waiting tables at 13 at her Aunt Alice’s Mexican restaurant. All three of her brothers served in the military.

Again, all of which she did fully clothed.

So, Sen. Centerfold, any final words you have to explain to the voters of Massachusetts why Elizabeth Warren shouldn't take your job next November?

So, whatever.
Yeah. Didn't think so.

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Originally posted to Kaili Joy Gray on Thu Oct 06, 2011 at 09:12 AM PDT.

Also republished by Daily Kos.

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