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Intro

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[kids, adult, crowd]

Look! Up in the sky!

It's a bird!

It's a blimp!

It's, it's--

[Newly-Frugal Guy]

Newly-Frugal Guy!  Here to warn you of . . .

The Fiscal Cliff.

[crowd screams]

[Newly-Frugal Guy]

It all started back when I, Newly-Frugal Guy, and my Newly-Frugal Hawkskateers helped create the fiscal cliff to teach you the evils of deficit spending.

With the Spendocrats, we had to threaten you with absolute destruction so you'd cut the deficit we're now warning you against cutting!

You see, citizens, the cliff would dramatically cut the deficit, but it would do so by cutting Pentagon spending--

Which through the mysteries of Newly Frugalness, is huge government spending that is amazingly not socialistic!

We all know true deficit reduction can only come from cutting pinko social programs like schools, health and welfare!

The Fiscal Cliff also threatens to blow up the Bush tax cuts and devious Spendocrats want taxes for the rich to return to what they were during the dark days of Clinton, back when the economy was, was, well . . . never mind.

Newly Frugal Guy will fight to ensure the Spendocrats finally become more moderate, they agree never to raise taxes on the rich, and adopt the tax policy of the great recently-losing party (by closing unnamed loopholes and deductions).

Then, we will be on our way to fighting the deficit-- with a Newly-Frugal bipartisan future for all!

Newly-Frugal Guy!  Free market, hoooo!

Harrumph, um, cut.  Cut!

Extended (Optional)

Originally posted to Comics on Fri Nov 16, 2012 at 06:51 AM PST.

Also republished by Daily Kos.

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