I say it's Cillizza. After all, Colbert is doing a 'character.' Cillizza (on the other hand) is living the same part.
Future for Republicans is not so badNo shit, that's the headline. And it's supposed to be serious, this is not political satire. It's a political "scoop" column that the Washington Post pays to run. It's supposed to be the Washington Post, paying an expert to give you the inside "scoop" about the daily realities of American politics... and the "scoop" (from the guy they're conferring national fame and influence on) is to tell you that "the future for Republicans is not so bad."
"Blow me," is your reaction. And you're not far wrong. The future, for Republicans, is pretty sucky right now. Yes, they can pull out a kind of political future for themselves by sticking to the political rhetoric adopted by Barry Goldwater and boiler-plated by Ronald Reagan. Yes, they have a future as a regional party (based in the South and West and part of the Midwest) dominated by the Christian Right and conservative broadcasters. Populated and sustained as a national political force: by aging angry white guys who firmly believe that the Dems are wicked socialists who only care about people with skins darker than their own.
But that's not the premise of Cillizza's thinking here. Cillizza's astonishing analysis is based on the theory that Republicans can survive--and thrive--and come back to national prominence again--soon! Whether they modify the conservative agenda and base or not! Even if they keep selling the same old shit political program they've been selling since Reagan delivered the Cow Palace speech!
Why does Chris Cillizza think that? And why does the Washington Post continue to pay him to function as "an expert on American politics?"
Here's a summary of Cillizza's enumerated list of reasons why it's not so bad to be a Republican, right now. Four reasons for Republican "optimism":
1) The (Republican) party’s superstars are coming of age.Who are the GOP's Justin Bieber-hot "coming superstars," according to Cillizza? Bobby Jindal, Marco Rubio, Chris Christie (alliterative name plus "praises Obama" =HOT! HOT! HOT!)
And...wait for it...Paul Ryan! (Ryan added one point to Romney's post-convention bump. According to Cillizza, that's...HOT! HOT! HOT!) How can Americans resist a "One Direction" crew like that, in 2016? They're the next Jonas Brothers, man!
2. There are a historic number of GOP governors.Oh, YEAH, baby! Susan Martinez in New Mexico, Nevada's Brian Sandoval...Can you say "LATINO?" Si, se puede! AND... (this, in parentheses):
(Keep an eye on Indiana’s Mike Pence, who has designs on a national candidacy down the line.)Oh, yeah! Mike Pence, he's age 53. (He calls himself "Mike" instead of "Michael," that's HOT! He's "now!" He's "happening!") From Wikipedia (tonight!):
In 2005, after Hurricane Katrina struck the Louisiana coast and in the midst of the clean up, Pence called a press conference announcing $24 billion in spending cuts, saying "... [W]e must not let Katrina break the bank.Keep an eye on him, say Cillizza (who's also "hot" and "happening.") Pence has got "an eye on a national candidacy!" That aging white male Indiana conservative visionary, plus the Latino names from New Mexico and Nevada...How can it miss, nationally, with this demographic?
3. The electoral map is bad, but not that bad. We’ve written extensively on how where Republicans currently find themselves in terms of the electoral map is similar to where Democrats found themselves in the 1980s. That’s broadly true, but things for Republicans today aren’t nearly as dire as they looked for Democrats three decades ago.Oh, yeah, AGAIN! "Where Democrats found themselves three decades ago," that's exactly where you want to be, post-2012 election! According to Cillizza, you are POSITIONED for take-off in the next ten years, man! Cillizza notes that "demographic and population trends are clearly working against Republicans" and yes, Texas is a swing state by 2020--but who cares? Ride this ROCKET to national STARDOM, Republicans! says Cillizza of the Washington Post.
4. History is on their side. Presidential politics in the post-World War II era tend to be defined by the pendulum effect.ABSOLUTELY! Next election, the GOP should campaign on the "pendulum" entitlement to office! "It's OUR TURN!" Fuck yeah, that's a winner. Cillizza even cites Bush v. Gore in 2000 as a PRECEDENT! It was the Republicans' TURN to win a presidential election! Yes, Bush lost the popular vote (and it took a Supreme Court decision to discard the voting and make him president.) But Cillizza's pendulum WILL trump the decision of the voters, forever: that's an HISTORICAL pattern, which the women and working families and American voters of color cannot defy!
Perhaps Cillizza's take is the result of tee many martoonis. That's a natural, depressed reaction in light of a hallucinatory pre-election "even-handedness" news coverage policy. And it's true the Republicans and conservatives aren't "done" yet. (One obvious avenue is for big money conservatives to flood Latino broadcast markets with tailored Limbaugh-style Republican propaganda. It would be aimed at vote splitting. It works with other populations (working class whites and conservative evangelicals); why not with American Latinos?)
But today, the only thing Cillizza's got for the GOP are his hallucinations. At present, it's a very bad time to be a Republican or conservative. They're regional (not national) and they're on the run. They're outnumbered, rejected, and their national media political advantage failed them this time.
I enjoyed watching Cillizza cut open the birds and read the entrails in the hope of restoring "even-handedness" to future national election results. Colbert does this kind of thing as a joke; Cillizza's doing it in all seriousness--and that's funny.