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Please begin with an informative title:

I feel like i've become a "problem case" of the community (sadly, that's how big my ego is).  A few months ago, i wrote this diary about being at the end of my emotional and mental ropes.  Thankfully, so many of you turned up in the comments or in messages to help me out.

at this point, though, many things in my life have turned around over the past weeks ~ i've been exercising regularly, my relationship with my estranged wife has turned around to the point that we're discussing reconciliation, and i even found a couple of jobs, though one hasn't started yet and one is ending next week...which is the point of my diary today.

What really is fucking me up now is money, and I really have no where else to turn but here ~ i'm at the end of my rope now, and even now am crying in spurts as i write how fucked up my money situation is.   seeing it all here in black and white, i feel like such a scumbag who can't provide for his family and has to beg to make ends meet.

Like so many others, i lost my unemployment benefits that i was counting on.  I'm about to go buy a new tv and try to pawn it or sell it on craigslist so i don't bounce my payments.

ive been applying for any credit card i can so i can take cash advances to be able to pay for my rent and debt payment program, and to use for bills but I can't do even get a card now.  needless to say, my kids are getting homemade gifts this xmas

i don't know what else to do, or where to turn.  i'm applying for any and every job i see, but that isn't going to help me in the next few weeks when i'm so desperate for money.

sigh ~ now the pitch

I don't need much at all ~ only about $500 to get me through these next few weeks.  I believe that things are going to change for me soon and i just need help with my next two big payments that can't bounce or else my life gets so much more fucked than it is now.    

i dont know if it sounds cheesy or manipulative or whatever, but i've seen this community rally around other members who have posted their need.  And i've seen the scams that have come and gone around here, and read the stories of people being burned.  I always think that these others have offered so much to this place, and what right do i have to even ask this of strangers, but, as i said, i literally don't know what else to do.  i have no family or friends that can loan me money, no other way to do this ~ i don't even know how to properly do this.  i set up a paypal account in the arrogant notion that i'll get help, but i don't know how to post that info on here.

please, DKos, i literally am begging for your help.


You must enter an Intro for your Diary Entry between 300 and 1150 characters long (that's approximately 50-175 words without any html or formatting markup).

11:32 AM PT: if anyone can help, i will try to pay it forward in any way possible

paypal email:   pholkhero-AT-gmail-DOT-com

3:13 PM PT: thank you ES!!!

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