Hobby Lobby Logic. I invite you to give it a try.
The billionaire who founded Hobby Lobby is claiming that despite the fact his corporation is a, you know, corporation, it is a violation of religious liberty to expect it to comply with the new rules requiring employers to include contraception coverage in their employee health plans.
Some renegade commentors at NRO's The Cornerare exploring the new frontiers that this line of "thinking" might open up. Here are my favorites:
As a devout Cleantholic, I believe that Cleanliness is Next to Godliness, and one of the dirtiest things there is -- human waste -- has no place in any Cleantholic's business or residence. That's why, as a devout Cleantholic, my family's "facilities" are in a separate building 200 feet from our home. That's why my business has facilities located a 100 foot walk outside my plant as well. The more distance a Cleantholic can put between the devil's work of producing human waste and the dignity of work and daily living, the better.Another:
The Building Department has issued me a citation for my plant and has threatened to revoke the Certificate of Occupancy for both my plant and my home. I firmly believe my town's building code violates my constitutional right not to have a toilet inside the four walls of my business or residence. My employees sometimes complain about the walk, especially in the rain and snow, but they seem to take it in stride, as I am otherwise a very conscientious and understanding employer.
I'm a devout Norquistian. I'm utterly opposed to taxation. I'm alsoAnother:
buying a chain of sandwich shops. Would you like to invest in my holding company? You don't actually need to become a Norquistian yourself, just a shareholder. Since I'm the founder, I should not be forced to participate in actions that violate my religious beliefs, so the company won't be paying any federal, state or local taxes. Therefore, the ROI will much higher than usual.
I am a devout Workaholic and I believe that hard work is the path to everlasting salvation. My religion finds it morally objectionable for people to be paid extra for working overtime. It is a gift to my employees. I will therefor not pay overtime rates to my employees based on my religious beliefs.Another:
I'm a Saudi sheik. I'm going to buy all the chicken processing plants in Arkansas. It is against by religious beliefs to employ infidels and therefore everyone who doesn't convert is fired. Some of you might not like that and will quit. That's OK, I'm bringing in busloads of unemployed Muslims from Michigan who, coincidentally, will be happy to work for $1/hour less than you.Here's one I wrote myself:
I belong to the Church of God Without Borders. We devoutly believe that all humans are equal in the eyes of God, regardless of the accidents of their birth. Therefore, I am not going to be checking employment eligibility status of any of my workers at any of the string of meat packing plants I own throughout the Midwest.I suppose if I were clever I'd turn this into a Twitter meme with the hastag "HobLobLog". But I'm not that clever. So instead, I invite you try your hand at Hobby Lobby Logic in the space below.