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Please begin with an informative title:

Last night, Stephen Colbert really ripped into Tennessee state senator Stacey Campfield (R), previously known for his "Don't Say Gay" bill, for his latest round of bigoted nuttery.

Sadly, the Don't Say Gay bill was defeated last spring.  But Campfield is back with something completely new.
ABC 10 (2/1/2013): Tennessee state senator Stacey Campfield has filed a classroom protection act.  It would require counselors to report students' conversations about sexuality to parents.

GOOD DAY L.A. (2/1/2013): State senator Stacey Campfield says it's ridiculous to say we should shield parents from the information about their kid's homosexual activity.

See?  Totally different.  It's gone from Don't Say Gay, to "GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!!!!!!!"

(audience applause)

No evidence.

Now, I'm sure they'll work out some system to inform parents of their child's homosexuality, maybe the report card.  "Look mom, I got 3 B's and a GAY+!"

....

Now naturally, this idea was not too popular with the same-sex huggers out there.  Campfield's had some angry e-mail exchanges with his constituents, which he addressed on the least gay of all news programs, TMZ.  Jim?

2/4/2013:

HARVEY LEVIN: What about the response to the constituent?

ST. SEN. STACEY CAMPFIELD, R-TN: Yeah, that person's a well-known homosexual advocate, and the biggest bullies in the world out there is really the homosexual community.

Oh yeah, it's well known.  Homosexuals, notorious bullies.  Many of them spend their teenage years mercilessly ramming their face into the football team's fists.  The important thing about this, folks, it's not about ostracizing gay students into a life of loneliness, it's all about education.  We are teaching these children, isolated by their identity, that there is absolutely no adult that they can trust.

....

FOX 29 (1/30/2013): A Tennessee state senator wants to cut welfare funding for parents whose children perform poorly in school.

ST. SEN. STACEY CAMPFIELD, R-TN (1/30/2013): Listen, if your did is failing every single class because who knows what reason, we're going to stop or cut back on the amount of straight cash payment. ... If you want to talk motivation, nothing motivates like cash.

And nobody knows that better than a politician.  (audience applause)

....

And folks, these welfare kids, they're rolling in the dough!  Did you know that in Tennessee, "the maximum benefit for a mother with two children is $185 a month"?  And February only has 28 days.  Cha-ching!  Somebody's turning some sweet coin on Black History Month.

And I am not the only one who loves Campfield's idea.  Over on the Fox & Friends, the brown-haired guy who's not Steve Doocy wishes that this plan had been in place when he was in school.

BRIAN KILMEADE (1/29/2013): I remember what happened to me in kindergarten.  I used to fake illness because I couldn't recognize my name. ... I had to hang up my coat in my cubbyhole with my name on it, but since I couldn't recognize my name, I just kept faking illness.  And if my parents had been cracked down on, and money had been taken from them, they would've found out the real reason why I was faking.
Sadly, to this day, he still does not recognize his name.  (audience applause)  He is forced to sign his checks with a cartoon penis.

Video and full transcript below the fold.
Intro

You must enter an Intro for your Diary Entry between 300 and 1150 characters long (that's approximately 50-175 words without any html or formatting markup).

And that brings me to another installment of our sometimes running series, Mr. Smith Goes to the State Legislature, and Then Later Possibly to Washington.  First up tonight, Tennessee state senator and lost Weasley brother Stacey Campfield.  Now, I first noted Campfield when he demonstrated his deep knowledge of immunology by declaring that AIDS was caused by:
ST. SEN. STACEY CAMPFIELD, R-TN (1/26/2012): ... one guy screwing a monkey, if I recall correctly, and then having sex with men.  It was an airline pilot, if I recall.
(shocked audience laughter and applause)

And if I recall, it was shortly after that, that airlines stopped serving free cocktails to monkeys in first class.  Pilots couldn't resist.

Now I have long admired Campfield's heroic work protecting our students' morals with his "Don't Say Gay" bill, which proposed banning teachers from discussing homosexuality in school.  Yes, if you don't talk about something, it goes away.  For instance, Sarah Palin.  (wild audience applause)  We miss you.

Sadly, the Don't Say Gay bill was defeated last spring.  But Campfield is back with something completely new.

ABC 10 (2/1/2013): Tennessee state senator Stacey Campfield has filed a classroom protection act.  It would require counselors to report students' conversations about sexuality to parents.

GOOD DAY L.A. (2/1/2013): State senator Stacey Campfield says it's ridiculous to say we should shield parents from the information about their kid's homosexual activity.

See?  Totally different.  It's gone from Don't Say Gay, to "GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!!!!!!!"

(audience applause)

No evidence.

Now, I'm sure they'll work out some system to inform parents of their child's homosexuality, maybe the report card.  "Look mom, I got 3 B's and a GAY+!"

And teachers, of course, will have a foolproof way to determine a student's sexual preference.  If any of the other students call him a gaywad, or a gaybo.  Cuz those are not terms children throw around casually.  They are based on hard evidence only, like someone having the wrong color backpack, or being the new kid.

Now naturally, this idea was not too popular with the same-sex huggers out there.  Campfield's had some angry e-mail exchanges with his constituents, which he addressed on the least gay of all news programs, TMZ.  Jim?

2/4/2013:

HARVEY LEVIN: What about the response to the constituent?

ST. SEN. STACEY CAMPFIELD, R-TN: Yeah, that person's a well-known homosexual advocate, and the biggest bullies in the world out there is really the homosexual community.

Oh yeah, it's well known.  Homosexuals, notorious bullies.  Many of them spend their teenage years mercilessly ramming their face into the football team's fists.  The important thing about this, folks, it's not about ostracizing gay students into a life of loneliness, it's all about education.  We are teaching these children, isolated by their identity, that there is absolutely no adult that they can trust.

Next up on the MSGTTLTLP-dubs, Nation, I'm sick of moochers who get paid to sit around all day.  And so are these experts, who are paid to sit around all day to complain about the moochers.

REP. PAUL RYAN, R-WI (1/27/2013): More and more able-bodied people are becoming dependent upon the government than upon themselves and their livelihoods.

BILL O'REILLY (11/20/2012): In '91, individuals in 41 million American households were receiving some kind of entitlement.  Now the number is an astounding 107 million Americans, an increase of 161%.  Can you believe it?

CHARLES KRAUTHAMMER (1/22/2013): The country has become more dependent, more people receiving the benefits of government, that there's a lot more people who want to suck on the teat of the state.

It's true.  Even worse, it forces us to hear Charles Krauthammer say "suck on the teat".  (Stephen retches)

Well thankfully, another GOP state senator/potential presidential hopeful has a bold solution to this problem.  And surprise, it's Stacey Campfield!  Because once again, he has set his sights on the freeloadiest of all American freeloaders, children.

FOX 29 (1/30/2013): A Tennessee state senator wants to cut welfare funding for parents whose children perform poorly in school.

ST. SEN. STACEY CAMPFIELD, R-TN (1/30/2013): Listen, if your did is failing every single class because who knows what reason, we're going to stop or cut back on the amount of straight cash payment. ... If you want to talk motivation, nothing motivates like cash.

And nobody knows that better than a politician.  (audience applause)

And folks, these welfare kids, they're rolling in the dough!  Did you know that in Tennessee, "the maximum benefit for a mother with two children is $185 a month"?  And February only has 28 days.  Cha-ching!  Somebody's turning some sweet coin on Black History Month.

And I am not the only one who loves Campfield's idea.  Over on the Fox & Friends, the brown-haired guy who's not Steve Doocy wishes that this plan had been in place when he was in school.

BRIAN KILMEADE (1/29/2013): I remember what happened to me in kindergarten.  I used to fake illness because I couldn't recognize my name. ... I had to hang up my coat in my cubbyhole with my name on it, but since I couldn't recognize my name, I just kept faking illness.  And if my parents had been cracked down on, and money had been taken from them, they would've found out the real reason why I was faking.
Sadly, to this day, he still does not recognize his name.  (audience applause)  He is forced to sign his checks with a cartoon penis.

(audience laughter)

So I say bravo, state senator!  Or should I say, future President Campfield?  There is no way your educational ideas can fail.  And if they do fail, we'll take away your government check, you gaywad!  (wild audience applause)  We'll be right back.

And after warning people of the coming winter storm, Stephen then looked at the new Bang With Friends app and its consequences.
Meanwhile, after Obama pre-empted his drone coverage by giving the Senate his administration's legal rationale for drone strikes, Jon turned to looking at the sequester's defense cuts, and Al Madrigal focused specifically on the tanks that the military says they don't need.
Jon then looked at the recent change to Monopoly.
Stephen interviewed director Benh Zeitlin, and Jon talked with TARP's former Inspector General Neil Barofsky, which went long.  Here's the unedited interview in two parts.
Part 1
Part 2
Extended (Optional)

Originally posted to BruinKid on Fri Feb 08, 2013 at 05:00 AM PST.

Also republished by Three Star Kossacks and Electronic America: Progressives Film, music & Arts Group.

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