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Now Nation, it's been five years since the global economic meltdown, and while even I used to be mad at Wall Street, at this point, who can even remember who wired the global economic system to a roulette wheel jacked on enough cocaine to bring down a bison?
And yet, the Maddow blazer-wearing Ezra Klein-holes out there are still calling for bankers to go to jail. Why can't they just let bygone pensions be bygones? And now, the banks are even getting heat from Congress. And not in the usual way — with a warm tongue bath. (wild audience cheering and applause) Also, big part of Lupercalia.
Two weeks ago, Senators Chuck Grassley and Sherrod Brown accused the banks of not only being too big to fail, but also "too big to jail". Maybe so, but haven't they been punished enough with stinging wordplay like that?
And folks, I want you to know, this is a personal issue for me. Cuz I have a lot of friends on Wall Street, and we're super tight. They call me up, and give me stock tips, and I pay them. Well, I have some bad news for my bro......kers. The government has finally grown a pair.
DIANE SAWYER (2/5/2013): The federal government and 16 states declared a kind of legal war on S&P, the huge ratings agency.
LISA SYLVESTER (2/5/2013): The Justice Department accuses the S&P of a scheme to defraud investors.
SHEPARD SMITH (2//2013): The feds have filed a $5 billion dollar lawsuit against the rating agency Standard & Poor's, claiming that it committed fraud when it gave high ratings to risky mortgages.
The government claims Standard & Poor's committed fraud by giving AAA ratings to what it knew were worthless securities. Folks, that is bullshit. Bullshit, by the way, also gets a AAA rating from Standard & Poor's.
Folks, today they come for the ratings agencies, tomorrow they come for the banks, and that is the last thing our economy needs. A Gallup poll found that consumer confidence in banks is already at an all-time low. That includes the 1930s, when bankers lowered confidence by occasionally landing on consumers.
And I believe that an investigation will just make things worse. I don't think the banks are in any financial position to reveal what financial position they're in. Take Wells Fargo. Their recent annual report said that the bank's value is partly based on "significant assumptions not observable in the market".
That means the value of the largest capitalized bank in the United States defies observation. The human mind cannot perceive it. We dare not look upon it! Remember what happened to the accountants who opened Lehman Brothers' books!