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As someone who recently opened up about the fact that I identify as transgendered I realize that there are many steps on the way to full acceptance. I talked at length with my counselor about it today and we covered a lot of ground on a number of topics. I still have questions about my sexuality and just where I fall on the spectrum of transgendered people and I know that, in time, I'll eventually know and be able to explore it more fully.
For anyone struggling with issues of gender and sexuality let me say that it takes a lot of baby steps to get to your ultimate goal. Especially if you're in a situation where you can't be out fully. Getting the courage to come out, here especially, wasn't easy. I've had it drilled into me for years that men just don't do certain things, men don't cry, men play sports, men know how to fix cars, men don't show any emotion but anger. I've heard it from multiple sources and it is a stereotype that is still pushed out there and held to a ridiculous standard.
My counselor wants me to try and find out where a support group is and go there to talk about these things and, truth be told, I would love to. I don't just want to be out, I NEED to be out about these things, but because of my living situation I can't (I don't mean to harp about the same things I'm just writing free hand and these things keep popping up in my mind.) So I have to be happy with baby steps. One thing I thought about doing was getting some black nail polish, since lots of men use that shade and it wouldn't be an abnormal thing. My counselor liked the idea at least.
I have to be honest with everyone and say that writing these entries helps keep me sane and I appreciate the support so many of you have given.
That's all for now
May God bless you and may God be gracious to you
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Originally posted to bayushisan on Mon Feb 25, 2013 at 08:22 PM PST.