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Please begin with an informative title:

I once shot a man in Reno just to hear my neighbors say I was quiet and how shocking it all is on the local news.

It's so sad when you open the freezer door and that old bearded broccoli you sentenced to the hole covers its eyes from the unfamiliar light.

I don't mind the Moon controlling the tides. I just wish it would quit screwing around with my cousin Pete.

Can't help but think, if this were the '40s, I would've been tangled up with a pair of leggy dames hustling a grift in a seedy motel by now.

Intro

You must enter an Intro for your Diary Entry between 300 and 1150 characters long (that's approximately 50-175 words without any html or formatting markup).

BREAKING NEWS: Horse meat found in IKEA meatballs turns out to be yummy, stylish, and difficult to assemble.

George Washington was worth over half a billion in today's dollars. No wonder he went to war over British tax policy.

Business tip: insert plenty of amusing, meaningless Internet memes in private office documents. Help lighten your Chinese hacker's work day!

If the world is getting you down today, look up to the sky and remember, there are probably much, much larger "meteors" headed this way.

Extended (Optional)

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Poll

If you haven't broken a corporation's window in over 6 months you're letting them win.

46%18 votes
10%4 votes
43%17 votes

| 39 votes | Vote | Results

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