1912 – The Oreo Cookie is introduced by Nabisco, enthralling crossword lovers around the world.COINCIDENCE? I think NOT!
1967 – Joseph Stalin's daughter Svetlana Alliluyeva defects to the United States. Her secret love of Oreos was not the reason given for her defection.
Let's play ID the Moran:
"One of the things I will talk about, that no president has talked about before, is I think the dangers of contraception in this country.... Many of the Christian faith have said, well, that's okay, contraception is okay. It's not okay. It's a license to do things in a sexual realm that is counter to how things are supposed to be."FROM THE CHURCH OF INEFFABLE STUPIDITY:
"George W. Bush did a incredible job in the presidency, defending us from freedom."
"But we also know that the very founders that wrote those documents worked tirelessly until slavery was no more in the United States. ... I think it is high time that we recognize the contribution of our forbearers who worked tirelessly -- men like John Quincy Adams, who would not rest until slavery was extinguished in the country."
Time for our Weally Wacky Weakly Quiz.
1. Astronomers decided to remove Pluto from the roll of planets. What happened to Pluto as a result?
a. He gets his first speaking lines in the next Disney movie.
b. It hitched a ride on Voyager, leaving the solar system forever.
c. It cried so hard over the demotion, that it eroded into tiny bits called meteors.
2. The Anti-Flood Auto Bag is:
a. a device created by conservative christians to save their autos from damage when the Rapture comes.
b. a method to keep your car safe in New Orleans during the next levee breach.
c. biblical technology used by Noah to plug leaks in his hastily constructed ark. (Noah blamed non-union labor)
d. a super absorbing grocery carrier used in rainy climates.
3. The Vatican Conclave is:
a. a meaningless exercise intended on taking attention away from their latest child abuse scandal.
b. a meaningless exercise intended on taking attention away from their latest financial scandal involving the Vatican Bank.
c. a meaningless exercise intended on taking attention away from their growing internal gay sex and blackmail scandal.
d. A step forward to the 17th Century, especially on the rights of women, nuns, child abuse victims, and transparency in the Vatican Bank.
e. A blessed event wherein god makes a person to person call to dozens of Cardinals, telling them whose word will be infallible from now on. According to the latest rumor, god LOVES 4G technology.
4. Which religion borrows, with tacit approval, prophets from competing religions?
f. The Church of Ineffable Stupidity
5. A Crunch Protector is
a. A patented device meting out a serving of cereal into your bowl, to keep it crunchy while you eat.
b. The latest Ab reduction device, designed to keep one from suffering a hernia.
c. NFL's proposed helmet add-on, to prevent future concussions.
d. Sheriff Arpaio's anti-bubble gum detector, pointing out inmates who break his arcane and perverted jail rules.
6 Alien Hand Syndrome is
a. the lost episode from the X-Files.
b. an actual diagnosis wherein the sufferer's hand moves independently, often embarrassing the hand's owner.
c. proof that Satan attacks the bodies of non-believers.
d. the name of a losing hand in a cosmic game of bridge
7. Wikipedian Loop is defined as
a. the use of Wikipedia to research a particular subject which leads to an infinite loop of addiction of Wiki searches.
b. a computing age breakfast cereal.
c. a Dan Ryan (Chicago) traffic jam caused by a careless driver while texting.
d. the long lost tribe of Israel, mistakenly thought to be antarctic alien invaders.