Forget Muslims and Chechens-- the real threat to our safety is Elvis Impersonators! Last week an Elvis Impersonator sent the deadly ricin poison through the mails to the President and members of Congress in a vain attempt to spread terror. Then another Elvis Impersonator from Iowa engaged police in a 30-hour standoff on Sunday after a property dispute led to the man discharging a shotgun at officers and threatening to kill himself. Clearly the threat to America from Elvis Impersonators must be stopped.
A short list of Elvis Impersonators who are terrorists:
1. Paul Kevin Curtis, the Mississippi Elvis impersonator accused of sending ricin-laced letters to Barack Obama and Republican Senator Roger Wicker of MississippiWe must begin by demanding that all Elvis Impersonators register with the federal government. Only when Elvis impersonation is regulated and controlled by the government will Americans be safe. Be vigilant America. If you see an Elvis Impersonator, report that suspicious activity to the Department of Homeland Security's Jailhouse Rock department.
2. Michael Conley, a 64-year-old Elvis impersonator, allegedly locked himself inside a Florida motel along with his 28-year-old son, after Ft. Pierce cops came to arrest him on an outstanding warrant. During the encounter, Conley held up a vial filled with white powder, claiming that it was Ricin. He also claimed to have C-4 explosives.
3. Elvis tribute artist, David Allen Credile, was arrested last May in Myrtle Beach, S.C., after allegedly punching a man in the face during a fight over a board game.
4. Elvis impersonator Mickey Reed triggers 30-hour police standoff in Iowa after discharging a shotgun and threatening to kill himself.