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Please begin with an informative title:

While Bill in Portland Maine is busy taking a couple of days off up at a friend's cottage a bit up east (where I would be, too, were it not for my dead ice box issue), Awards Edition Plus, your one-stop snark-shop fills in with the Golden Douchenozzle of the Month Award. Adding to the fun is the News of Dubious Veracity Department and an editorial by Lenin Cat.

Follow us over the fold for a dip in the cesspool of snark... but before you do, there's a nice diary here about Wash-Reince-Repeat and his same o'l BS by deadhead.


You must enter an Intro for your Diary Entry between 300 and 1150 characters long (that's approximately 50-175 words without any html or formatting markup).

Awards Edition Plus Editorial

by Lenin Cat

All Hail Mayor Ford, Crackhead.

Rob Ford, the Mayor of Toronto, is not--I repeat NOT--a crackhead. Because he says so, and Canadians are the paragon of "good government", it must be true. Because, as Rush Limbaugh has pointed out, you can make up your own reality and you can deny the truth until it smacks you in the head. At least that's what he says about Oxy.

Now, I suppose that might be true. It might also be true that he's being persecuted by the press, and his brother might also be a hash dealer but then I'd be scooping the same people I've used for my sources. But I digress...

Mayor Ford deserves the award he's about to get--Douchenozzle of the Month. He's denied and denied, and even worse, after calling Liberal leader Justin Trudeau "a fag", he headed off for a photo op with leaders of Toronto PFLAG when he has heretofore refused to show up at official gay pride events.

Total douchenozzle.

Resign, Ford. Resign NOW.

--Lenin Cat

The News of Dubious Veracity Department

Via the Toronto Star:

Liberal Party Leader Justin Trudeau "Outed" by Mayor of Toronto

According to the Star, here's how the crack video went down:

"The footage begins with the mayor mumbling. His eyes are half-closed. He waves his arms around erratically. A man’s voice tells him he should be coaching football because that’s what he’s good at.

Ford agrees and nods his head, bobbing on his chair.

He says something like “Yeah, I take these kids . . . minorities” but soon he rambles off again.

Ford says something like: “Everyone expects me to be right-wing, I’m . . .” and again he trails off.

At one point he raises the lighter and moves it in a circle motion beneath the pipe, inhaling deeply.

Next, the voice raises the name of Liberal Leader Justin Trudeau. The man says he can’t stand him and that he wants to shove his foot up the young leader’s “ass so far it comes out the other end.”

Ford nods and bobs on his chair and appears to say, “Justin Trudeau’s a fag.”

Oh, dear. That's not News of Dubious Veracity. It's true. Oh, dear...

The Golden Douchenozzle Award of the Month

The GDN award is given periodically to public figures and other pretty and famous people for rank hypocrisy and general asshattery. Today's award goes to...

Toronto Mayor Rob Ford.

Rob Ford, the right-wing wacko Mayor of Toronto and John Candy look-alike is not just a crackpot: he's also a crackhead according to a report in the Toronto Star. That Ford has been mired in one scandal or another (including a conflict of interest trial relating to charity fundraising for a kid's football club) throughout his political career is not in question by anyone except Rob Ford. That he recently showed up drunk or high at an official event he was later asked to leave is not in question by anyone but Rob Ford. That Rob Ford is a crackhead, is apparently also no longer in question by anyone but--you guessed it--Rob Ford.
According to my latest info:
Asked by a caller to his Sunday radio show whether it is indeed him in the video described by the Star and the U.S. website Gawker, Ford laughed and responded, “Number one, there’s no video, so that’s all I can say. You can’t comment on something that doesn’t exist.”

Ford firmly called the reports “false,” a word that did not appear in his Friday speech at city hall. In that speech, he said, “I do not use crack cocaine, nor am I an addict of crack cocaine. As for a video, I cannot comment on a video that I have never seen or does not exist.”

Many city councillors and political pundits were unsatisfied with the speech, urging Ford to address the reports more thoroughly. Ford suggested Sunday that he believes he has said enough.

“No matter what you say, I found out, to the media, you’re never going to make them happy. You can give them 10 bars of gold and they’re going to want — why don’t I give 15 bars of gold? Well, you know what, folks, that’s the media that we have, unfortunately,” he said. Source.

He went on to call reporters "maggots".

Hmmm. Reporters are "maggots" and the Liberals are "faggots". Too convenient for words. So there you have it, the Canadian Rush Limbaugh. Except Ford is an elected official.

Why, oh why couldn't this have happened to Paul LePage? Or can't we send him to live with the Fords in EtobiCOKE?

There you have it, and thanks for reading. Tomorrow: C&J/AEP or How I Learned to Stop Worrying And Love The Drones. What are you cheering and jeering about today? Tell us in the comments! Oh, I almost forgot the gratuitous Geoffrey pic!...

Geoffrey the Cat expresses his opinion on Rob Ford.

Extended (Optional)

Originally posted to commonmass on Mon May 27, 2013 at 04:48 AM PDT.

Also republished by Awards Edition Plus and LGBT Kos Community.

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