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I and the rest of America woke up this morning in the worst way imaginable.
BRIAN KILMEADE: Governor, welcome back to the channel.
SARAH PALIN: Thank you. ... I get to be here the entire hour.
Well, well, well. Well, well, well. Look what the Fox dragged in. Sarah Palin has been hired back by Fox News. And she only left five months ago. She's now effectively quit quitting. She can't even commit to being uncommitted.
But, you know what? Let's be fair to her. People do change. What are you up to?
SARAH PALIN (6/17/2013): I am doing great ... writing a book, a book about Christmas and pushing back on the politically correct who would try to take Christ out of Christmas. ... Do New Yorkers feel like you're just a bunch of little babies with the thank goodness you got this nanny? ... You just put the BS in CBS. ... With Benghazi, though, government lied and people died. ... Government lied and government spied.
OK, Dr. Seuss. By the way, that little rhyme is from one of Sarah's kids books, Oh, the Places You'll Leave!
I just don't even know where to begin with her! I mean... hold on. You know what? I think I've just realized something. Fuck it! This is exactly what she wants. Just because I walked into a turd supermarket doesn't mean I have to buy anything! This brings us to our new incredibly important segment.
(wild audience cheering and applause)
You can do that! We can all do that. That is a power we have.
Because yes, we could spend the whole show juxtaposing video clips to demonstrate how Sarah Palin's strongly held convictions are nothing more than self-contradictory nonsense. Or, we can just ignore her! (audience cheering and applause)
Yes, we can respond to her obvious trolling with a series of insulting jokes, and maybe together enjoy a brief moment of catharsis. Or, we can just fucking ignore her! (audience cheering and applause)
I promise, America, it will feel so good! It'll be like we give our brains an enema together. And I'm not saying it will be easy. I mean, just look at her. She's a temptress. Oh Sarah, if only it was as easy for us to quit you as it is for you to quit everything!
Video below the fold.
John then covered the Iranian election, and asked how Americans should take the news.
Sam Bee then talked with an evangelical who thinks his kind of Christians are being persecuted for their homophobic views.