As Republicans come closer and closer to their goal of abolishing all abortion rights, it's time to introduce legislation to achieve parity between the sexes on bodily agency, autonomy, and ownership. If women are required to donate their bodies to support the lives of fertilized eggs, embryos, and fetuses against their will, then the men (and their female allies) responsible for this loss of women's most basic human right, the right to bodily sovereignty, must suffer an equal loss. With that goal in mind, I offer a bill, entitled
WHAT'S GOOD FOR THE GOOSE IS GOOD FOR THE GANDER
Text of the proposed bill below the fold:
In order to fill the great need for bodily organs, tissues, and fluids to support the lives of post-born persons who would otherwise die without a donor body, eligible individuals are required to register at once with the donor program in their area. Required donations include blood, blood stem cells, bone, bone marrow, skin, kidneys (one), lungs (one), pancreas (part), intestine (part), or any other organ, tissue, or fluid that does not result in the donor's immediate death (usually).
Eligible individuals are:
A. Legislators who voted to curtail or abolish abortion rights.
B. Governors or presidents who signed those bills into law.
C. Abortion clinic protesters and harassers.
D. Crisis pregnancy center owners and employees.
E. Citizens who voted for anti-abortion candidates.
F. Any and all forced birthers unnamed above.
A. Eligible individuals shall report to their local donor program facility immediately
upon request. Previous plans of the donor shall be delayed or abandoned if
they interfere with the donor's primary function: lifesaving.
B. Fluids, tissues, and organs shall be removed from the donor according to the
needs of others who would otherwise die without said human donor materials.
A. Injury, illness, infection, compromised or decreased organ function, or other
temporary or permanent changes in a donor's physical, mental, or emotional
health is a frequent result of donation. A donor's bodily response to donating is
unpredictable and may range from very mild to severe, even fatal (rarely).
A. While a relatively rare complication of being a donor body, death is sometimes
unavoidable even when donation procedures are properly performed.
B. Death of a donor may also occur if the attending physician decides to ignore best
practices while facilitating the donation. During a procedure, he may decide that
the recipient of the donation requires more of the donor than originally thought,
for example, the heart or liver, in order to survive. Of course, the donor will not
live through the removal of either of these organs, but choices must be made,
just not by the donor. The physician, in this case, will determine who lives and
who dies by consulting the god voices in his head.
Compensation and Expenses
A. There is no financial compensation for being a donor. A donor may, however, feel
pride and joy for having loaned his body or some of its parts to another person
who is depending on him for life. The fact that the donor had no choice in the
matter should not reduce his joy. Maybe he is just not the right kind of Christian.
B. If a donor is covered by donor insurance, about 80% of his donor expenses
(extensive blood and tissue sampling, organ removal, etc.), excluding co-pays,
will be paid. The more common junk donor policies will require the donor to pay
the first $5000 in expenses out of pocket.
C. Expenses of complications will be paid by insurance, if the donor can prove to
his insurance company that those complications were a result of the donation.
D. Uninsured donors are responsible for all expenses related to the donation, and
any unforeseen complications, up to and including death. Avoidance of the
recommended pre-donation tests and procedures because of inability to pay, or
for any other reason, resulting in a poor outcome for the donor, shall not be
E. Loss of jobs, wages, career advancement, vacation time, sick pay, college credits,
college scholarships, family time, romantic relationships, and any and all
otherwise unnamed career, educational, or personal setbacks due to
inconveniently timed obligations to donate or poor outcomes from donating shall
not be compensated.
Forced birth advocates (Republicans) lack empathy, but history shows that enlightenment is possible for them under certain circumstances. Dick Cheney's daughter is gay, so he supports marriage equality, and because Ronald Reagan might have benefited from stem cell research, Nancy Reagan reversed her position and now supports it. It is obvious from these examples, and many others, that Republicans must experience something personally before they can begin to understand how other people may feel. Passage of this bill into law is essential to end the misogyny and unbridled cruelty that defines their party. Once enough of their number become acquainted with the horrendous impositions onto their persons that they so gleefully impose on women, they might be agreeable to finally repealing all laws curtailing women's reproductive rights. At that time, the requirements for eligible individuals outlined in this bill will be repealed as well.