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Please begin with an informative title:

How did I spend my 9/11? Ashes and sackcloth? Opining about the meaning of it all? Scorning the proceedings because of American this-and-that before, during and after that tragedy?

Uh, negative. I went to a class to recertify in CPR.

Despite my title (and the subsequent use of humor below) this is a very serious matter: Most people aren't aware that cardiac arrest/infarction are quite different and that well over a quarter of a million people suffer cardiac arrest each year.

You have a frightfully low chance of survival if you incur cardiac arrest: I'd heard 10% in the past and an 11% survival figure was cited at last night's class.

You have effectively ZERO chance of survival is someone's not around to provide CPR until first responders arrive.

My purpose for recertifying: I'm a volunteer cross country coach; this is my second year. I did NOT want occasion to arise where if something happened to another coach, or parent or (God/FSM forbid, a child) that I'd be That Guy looking around hoping someone can take charge.

Also, I'd taken the class before but it never really sank in until last night: The most likely people I'll use this skill for will be those people that I'm around most: my family. After that will be people who others care about most - THEIR kids - and I'd better be suitable to receive their trust in every way possible.

A lot of the news and commentary (and diaries and comments here) have danced around sensitive, important topics related to the saving of lives.

Take the time to look around for a CPR/AED class. Take that two hours or so out of the next two years to earn and maintain a certification.

Invest the time it takes to write a great diary or come up with a dozen zinger comments to NOT be That Person who hopes someone's close by who knows CPR.

Rather, be that person.

That said... we shall now proceed to the relatively amusing portion of our diary.

I say amusing but the truth is I have an insidious agenda for posting what follows in LOLCAT:

You'll actually read it more carefully.

Original source (in English) at The Red Cross website

Intro

You must enter an Intro for your Diary Entry between 300 and 1150 characters long (that's approximately 50-175 words without any html or formatting markup).

EVRY YER THOUSANDZ OV PEEPS DYE OV SUDDEN CARDIAC ARREST. LOTZ DA OV THEES DEATHS CUD BE PREVENTD WIF IMMEDIATE AN APPROPRIATE CARE.
REMEMBR TEH CARDIAC CHAIN OV SURVIVAL:
 EARLY RECOGNISHUN AN EARLY ACCES;
 EARLY CPR;
 EARLY DEFIBRILLASHUN AN
EARLY ADVANCD MEDICAL CARE.

TECHNOLOGY IZ AVAILABLE 2 HALP U PROVIDE EARLY DEFIBRILLASHUN 4 CARDIAC EMERGENCIEZ.

THEES MACHINEZ R CALLD AUTOMATD EXTERNAL DEFIBRILLATORS OR AEDZ 4 SHORT.

AN AED IZ PORTABLE DEVICE DAT ANALYZEZ TEH HART’S RHYTHM AN DETERMINEZ IF AN ELECTRIC SHOCK IZ NEEDD 2 RESTORE AN EFFECTIV RHYTHM. AN AED CAN DELIVR DAT SHOCK, EITHR AUTOMATICALLY, OR WIF TEH PUSH OV BUTN.

AN AED IZ NOT REPLACEMENT 4 CPR OR QUICK ACTIVASHUN OV TEH EMS SISTEM. ALWAYS GIV CPR TIL AN AED IZ READY 2 USE.

LET’S TALK BOUT WHEN 2 USE AN AED.

U STILL START OUT, AS ALWAYS, WIF TEH EMERGENCY ACSHUN STEPS: CHECK, CALL, CARE.

IF, DURIN UR CHECK, U FIND NO SIGNS OV LIFE, ASSUME DAT TEH HART IZ NOT FUNCSHUNIN PROPERLY. MAK SURE SOMEONE HAS CALLD 4 HALP, AN USE TEH AED IMMEDIATELY. IF AN AED IZ NOT AVAILABLE RITE AWAY, GIV CPR TIL AN AED IZ AT TEH SCENE AN READY 2 USE.

FURST, TURN ON TEH AED. SUM TURN ON AS SOON AS U OPEN TEH CASE. DIS MODEL HAS POWR SWITCH.

PAI CAREFUL ATTENSHUN 2 TEH VOICE PROMPTS, THEY WILL TELL U WUT 2 DO NEXT.

APPLY PADZ 2 PATIENTS BARE CHEST.

REMOOV TEH PADZ FRUM THEIR PACKAGIN, SO THEY’RE READY 2 USE.

TEH PERSON’S CHEST MUST BE BARE AN DRY. USE CLOTH 2 DRY TEH SKIN IF IT WET.

APPLY TEH PADZ 2 TEH BARE, DRY CHEST.

PLACE WAN PAD ON TEH UPPR RITE CHEST.

AN TEH OTHR PAD ON TEH LOWR LEFT SIDE.

SUM PADZ HAS ILLUSTRASHUNS DAT SHOW CORRECT PLACEMENT.

ON SUM MODELS TEH PADZ AN CABLEZ R ALREADY CONNECTD 2 TEH AED, IF YOURS R NOT, BE SURE 2 CONNECT THEM ONLY AFTR U APPLY TEH PADZ ON TEH CHEST.

ONCE TEH PADZ R APPLID AN TEH CABLEZ PLUGGD IN, TEH AED SHUD AUTOMATICALLY START ANALYZIN TEH HART RHYTHM.

ANALYZIN HART RHYTHM.

4 DA AED 2 OPERATE PROPERLY, U MUST NOT ALLOW YOURSELF OR ANYONE ELSE 2 TOUCH TEH PERSON WHILE TEH AED IZ ANALYZIN.

ANALYZIN HART RHYTHM. DO NOT TOUCH TEH PATIENT.

ANALYZIN. EVRYONE STAND CLEAR.

ON SUM MODELS U CUD NED 2 PUSH BUTN 2 ANALYZE TEH RHYTHM.

IT ALSO HELPFUL 2 REPEAT INSTRUCSHUNS AN WARNINGS OUT LOUD SO BYSTANDERS DO NOT TOUCH TEH PERSON WHILE U R OPERATIN TEH AED. TEH SEQUENCE WILL LOOK SOMETHIN LIEK DIS:

ANALYZIN HART RHYTHM. DO NOT TOUCH TEH PATIENT.

ANALYZIN. EVRYONE STAND CLEAR!

SHOCK ADVISD. CHARGIN. STAY CLEAR OV PATIENT.

BEFORE U PUSH TEH BUTN 2 DELIVR TEH SHOCK, MAK SURE NO WAN IZ TOUCHIN TEH PERSON, NOT EVEN U.

DELIVR SHOCK NAO. PRES TEH ORANGE BUTN NAO.

SHOCKIN! STAND CLEAR!

SHOCK DELIVERD. IT SAFE 2 TOUCH TEH PATIENT. BEGIN CPR.

1 AN 2 AN 3 AN 4 AN 5 AN 6 AN 7 AN 8 ...2 30.

AFTR SHOCK IZ DELIVERD OR IF NO SHOCK IZ INDICATD, GIV 2 MINUTEZ OV CPR BEFORE ANALYZIN TEH HART RHYTHM AGAIN.

IF NO SHOCK IZ INDICATD AFTR TEH SECOND ANALYSIS OV TEH HART RHYTHM, CONTINUE CPR 4 ANOTHR 2 MINUTEZ BEFORE ANALYZIN TEH RHYTHM AGAIN.

IF AT ANY TIEM U NOTICE AN OBVIOUS SIGN OV LIFE, STOP CPR AN MONITOR TEH ABC’S.

TEH AED TELLS AN SHOWS U, EACH STEP OV TEH WAI, WUT IZ HAPPENIN AN WUT 2 DO NEXT.

IT’S VRY IMPORTANT DAT U MAK SURE NO WAN TOUCHEZ TEH PERSON WHILE TEH AED IZ ANALYZIN OR DELIVERIN SHOCK. DAT INCLUDEZ U.

REMEMBR TEH CARDIAC CHAIN OV SURVIVAL:
 EARLY RECOGNISHUN AN EARLY ACCES;
 EARLY CPR;
 EARLY DEFIBRILLASHUN AN
EARLY ADVANCD MEDICAL CARE.

TECHNOLOGY IZ AVAILABLE 2 HALP U PROVIDE EARLY DEFIBRILLASHUN 4 CARDIAC EMERGENCIEZ.

THEES MACHINEZ R CALLD AUTOMATD EXTERNAL DEFIBRILLATORS OR AEDZ 4 SHORT.

AN AED IZ PORTABLE DEVICE DAT ANALYZEZ TEH HART’S RHYTHM AN DETERMINEZ IF AN ELECTRIC SHOCK IZ NEEDD 2 RESTORE AN EFFECTIV RHYTHM. AN AED CAN DELIVR DAT SHOCK, EITHR AUTOMATICALLY, OR WIF TEH PUSH OV BUTN.

AN AED IZ NOT REPLACEMENT 4 CPR OR QUICK ACTIVASHUN OV TEH EMS SISTEM. ALWAYS GIV CPR TIL AN AED IZ READY 2 USE.

LET’S TALK BOUT WHEN 2 USE AN AED.

U STILL START OUT, AS ALWAYS, WIF TEH EMERGENCY ACSHUN STEPS: CHECK, CALL, CARE.

IF, DURIN UR CHECK, U FIND NO SIGNS OV LIFE, ASSUME DAT TEH HART IZ NOT FUNCSHUNIN PROPERLY. MAK SURE SOMEONE HAS CALLD 4 HALP, AN USE TEH AED IMMEDIATELY. IF AN AED IZ NOT AVAILABLE RITE AWAY, GIV CPR TIL AN AED IZ AT TEH SCENE AN READY 2 USE.

FURST, TURN ON TEH AED. SUM TURN ON AS SOON AS U OPEN TEH CASE. DIS MODEL HAS POWR SWITCH.

PAI CAREFUL ATTENSHUN 2 TEH VOICE PROMPTS, THEY WILL TELL U WUT 2 DO NEXT.

APPLY PADZ 2 PATIENTS BARE CHEST.

REMOOV TEH PADZ FRUM THEIR PACKAGIN, SO THEY’RE READY 2 USE.

TEH PERSON’S CHEST MUST BE BARE AN DRY. USE CLOTH 2 DRY TEH SKIN IF IT WET.

APPLY TEH PADZ 2 TEH BARE, DRY CHEST.

PLACE WAN PAD ON TEH UPPR RITE CHEST.

AN TEH OTHR PAD ON TEH LOWR LEFT SIDE.

SUM PADZ HAS ILLUSTRASHUNS DAT SHOW CORRECT PLACEMENT.

ON SUM MODELS TEH PADZ AN CABLEZ R ALREADY CONNECTD 2 TEH AED, IF YOURS R NOT, BE SURE 2 CONNECT THEM ONLY AFTR U APPLY TEH PADZ ON TEH CHEST.

ONCE TEH PADZ R APPLID AN TEH CABLEZ PLUGGD IN, TEH AED SHUD AUTOMATICALLY START ANALYZIN TEH HART RHYTHM.

ANALYZIN HART RHYTHM.

4 DA AED 2 OPERATE PROPERLY, U MUST NOT ALLOW YOURSELF OR ANYONE ELSE 2 TOUCH TEH PERSON WHILE TEH AED IZ ANALYZIN.

ANALYZIN HART RHYTHM. DO NOT TOUCH TEH PATIENT.

ANALYZIN. EVRYONE STAND CLEAR.

ON SUM MODELS U CUD NED 2 PUSH BUTN 2 ANALYZE TEH RHYTHM.

IT ALSO HELPFUL 2 REPEAT INSTRUCSHUNS AN WARNINGS OUT LOUD SO BYSTANDERS DO NOT TOUCH TEH PERSON WHILE U R OPERATIN TEH AED. TEH SEQUENCE WILL LOOK SOMETHIN LIEK DIS:

ANALYZIN HART RHYTHM. DO NOT TOUCH TEH PATIENT.

ANALYZIN. EVRYONE STAND CLEAR!

SHOCK ADVISD. CHARGIN. STAY CLEAR OV PATIENT.

BEFORE U PUSH TEH BUTN 2 DELIVR TEH SHOCK, MAK SURE NO WAN IZ TOUCHIN TEH PERSON, NOT EVEN U.

DELIVR SHOCK NAO. PRES TEH ORANGE BUTN NAO.

SHOCKIN! STAND CLEAR!

SHOCK DELIVERD. IT SAFE 2 TOUCH TEH PATIENT. BEGIN CPR.

1 AN 2 AN 3 AN 4 AN 5 AN 6 AN 7 AN 8 ...2 30.

AFTR SHOCK IZ DELIVERD OR IF NO SHOCK IZ INDICATD, GIV 2 MINUTEZ OV CPR BEFORE ANALYZIN TEH HART RHYTHM AGAIN.

IF NO SHOCK IZ INDICATD AFTR TEH SECOND ANALYSIS OV TEH HART RHYTHM, CONTINUE CPR 4 ANOTHR 2 MINUTEZ BEFORE ANALYZIN TEH RHYTHM AGAIN.

IF AT ANY TIEM U NOTICE AN OBVIOUS SIGN OV LIFE, STOP CPR AN MONITOR TEH ABC’S.

TEH AED TELLS AN SHOWS U, EACH STEP OV TEH WAI, WUT IZ HAPPENIN AN WUT 2 DO NEXT.

IT’S VRY IMPORTANT DAT U MAK SURE NO WAN TOUCHEZ TEH PERSON WHILE TEH AED IZ ANALYZIN OR DELIVERIN SHOCK. DAT INCLUDEZ U.

Extended (Optional)

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