After reading the diary of jpmassar on the Navy who excused and promoted an officer who was molesting his children, I felt compelled to write this. Although this story is heinous, I'm afraid it is becoming all too common. The War on Women that allows rape victims to be further victimized by attacking them, and treating them as if they had something to gain by their accusation, or as if they had some other motive for reporting rape, or that they were in some way asking for it to happen, has spilled over to the children. As someone who has been raped, and has also survived a family who thought that type of behavior was ok, and to be expected because, you know, boys will be boys, I can tell you that I was afraid to report my situation because I was afraid of being done the same in a court of law. Therefore, my rapist went free to continue to roofie the next girl who came along. I don't know if anyone here has been drugged that way before, but I can tell you that you have no control. I knew what was happening to me, I was screaming and fighting inside, but it wouldn't come out. My body was not my own, for that brief time, it was his.
I say this because after what happened to me, I still didn't report it. Not because I enjoyed it as my rapist later spread through our community, but because I had seen first hand what happens to women who report a rape. In recent cases throughout the US, girls who have reported it have been scrutinized to the point of suicide, simply because their rapist was a football star, or had important parents. Then there is this story. The one where a rapist is forgiven to the point he can continue his deed, even though he was convicted.
This year a story came on the local news channel 4 in Oklahoma City, that was short and sweet, and clearly didn't get the outrage it should have invoked. Most of my neighbors hadn't even heard the story, until I Facebooked it, and made a big deal out of it. It certainly wasn't the first page news it should have been. Even then, it left many of us here in OK feeling as if we were powerless to do anything about it.
More below the fold...
A woman and her boyfriend were living in California together, and he had been married before, and had a 6 year old daughter back then. His daughter had gone to her mother and told her that her daddy had been doing things to her, which led to an investigation and the horrible discovery that he had indeed raped his 6 year old daughter. The girlfriend, after realizing the type of person she had gotten herself involved with, left him. He was convicted in California of raping his then 6 year old daughter, and his girlfriend found that she was now pregnant with his child. She decided to move away, and save her child the embarrassment of her father, so she moved to Norman, OK, away from him and the influence of his family.
The child was born, another girl. She was born with a cleft palate, and other medical problems that required her to have medical intervention. The mother sought medical help, and took good care of the daughter as far as anyone can tell. She seemed to be a good mother, who wouldn't have a problem proving that her child SHOULD be with her. When she was contacted after her child's 6th birthday, by an attorney filing to take the child from her, and give her to the father who had just been released for raping his other daughter, the mother said she thought it was some kind of sick joke. She never imagined a court handing her daughter to a man who had raped his other daughter at that same age. She hired a lawyer, and took the proper precautions anyway.
The story said that when they went before the Judge in Norman, OK, that she and her attorney were not allowed inside the Judge's chambers with the Judge, and the father's lawyer, but she still didn't get too concerned. I mean who would give him this child? They heard laughter coming from the Judge's quarters, and his attorney walked out smiling and shaking hands with the Judge. (They later discovered that they were old friends.) They took her daughter from her, and handed her over to this man, to return to California with him, saying she was not a good mother because she was not able to give a complete list of doctors her child had seen.
Now here is where my experience comes into play... My daughter was diagnosed at 2 1/2 years of age with Pauciarticular Juvenile Rheumatoid Arthritis. From the time of her diagnosis, there was a whirlwind of doctors and specialists I was sent to. Even to the Shriners Hospital in Shreveport, LA. Many of these doctors only saw her one time, and only briefly, and I could never name them all. Does that mean I'm a bad mother? I think not. Anyone who has experienced this can tell you that it is such a stressful time to see your child has a problem that could change the very course of their lives, and holding it together for them, and making sure that they are taken care of does not mean you will remember all the doctors you saw trying to help them six years later for a Judge. I have seen many doctors myself since breaking my back, and I can't remember all of their names either! But this was the Judge's reason for saying she was a bad Mother. To me, that's just shameful...
The mother began fighting back trying to get her story out, but to no avail. Too many people seemed indifferent to the plight of this child. The father left Oklahoma, and started his drive back to California with her, leaving the mother in absolute tears, and in fear of what could happen to her child. Upon entering Bakersfield, CA, the father was pulled over and searched by local police. They "found" a bullet under the seat of the vehicle, and took him to jail for parole violation, and took his daughter into Child Services custody. I applaud these cops who did their jobs!! I have often wondered where the bullet really came from, but I DON'T CARE!! It kept this child from ever having to step foot in to her fathers home, and perhaps, suffering the same fate her sister did. I believe these police knew about this injustice, and sought to make it right.
The mother has resolved herself to getting her child back, and is grateful to the police who pulled him over that day, but this Judge has never been held accountable for his part in handing a child over to a convicted child rapist. He is still on the bench.
Stories like these make me sick. There has to be a way to get Judges who use the 'Good Ole Boy' system, and allows things like this to happen, off of the bench. The children of this Navy officer is just one more to fuel my flame. We have to, as a people, stop re-victimizing victims! I know there may be some who make accusations for the attention, but I don't see how... How could any woman WANT that kind of attention? To be scrutinized and have someone go through every part of your life to see if you're being truthful with your accusations is not a comfortable or enjoyable thing. One lapse of judgment, years ago, can come back to haunt you in a trial like that, so why would any woman report a rape unless it was true, or they were sick in some way we do not understand. It needs to stop, and men must realize that they can't get away with raping a woman, then calling her morality into judgment to excuse it. As far as men who molest and rape children, I probably shouldn't say this, but hang them 150 feet in the air (over cement) by their cohonies, and leave them till they drop off.