The floundering right wing talk show host has gotten so absolutely desperate for ads thanks to the efforts of online activists that he is now forced to advertise for a company that--just a couple of years ago--he publicly ridiculed.
At the time, Limbaugh found the notion of buying enough overpriced freeze-dried food to survive a nuclear holocaust "ridiculous":
CALLER: Your words always lift my spirits and make me feel a lot more upbeat. My question is, do you think Soros will succeed in bringing the dollar down to zero and cause high inflation like one popular TV and radio host suggests? Will it cost $24 for a loaf of bread?
RUSH: I figured on $50. I think bread's gonna go to $50 a loaf. Now is the time to get it, freeze it in large quantities and butter, too, you can't have bread without butter. How does that sound?
CALLER: Well, not so reassuring.
RUSH: It sounds kind of ridiculous, doesn't it?
The "one popular TV and radio host" would be Limbaugh's fellow shithouse rat Glenn Beck (although he's no longer a TV host). Beck has been the posterboy for Food Insurance for a long time. He loves to take the foil wrappers from the dessicated chicken cordon bleu and fashion cute little hats out of them.
Fast forward two and a half years from Limbaugh's unkind comments about Food Insurance. The flap-jowled, vein-pulsing, pill-popping bloviator has become his own worst enemy, run off nearly every advertiser you'd be willing to bring home to meet mama. Those left gracing his ad breaks hock everything from limp noodle cures to Honest to God snake oil.
Oh, and food insurance:
Rush Limbaugh now loves Food Insurance so much that they've even come up with special promotions for Rush Listeners. For the low cost of $799 you get what's called the lost Dominican Republic weekend special. It includes:
3 dried omelettes
30 Cuban dog turds
6 gallon jugs of mayonnaise with 6 curly straws
Someone else's Viagra prescription
Enough OxyContin to help you forget all the shameful things you just did
For a mere $13,239.79 you'll receive :
1264 Breakfast ServingsThe package will feed a family of 5 (2 adults and 3 children) for 12 months at 3 meals per day, which--if you time it right--will hold you over until Ted Cruz is elected president.
2528 Lunch/Dinner Servings
2568 A La Carte Servings (Fruits, Veggies, Meats, Desserts and Meal Replacement Drinks)
They'll even ship it to your underground bunker for free.
Props to @Nikluk for the story idea.
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