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Please begin with an informative title:

The bank  puts their pen on a chain because they don’t trust me to not steal it, yet, for some reason, I trust them with my money.

Boredom and emptiness are barely discernible from one another. Same goes for ice cream and happiness.

If a beautiful woman walked up to me, pointed a gun, then asked, "You know what this is about?"
I would just smile and nod my head.

I hate when people treat me like I'm above them. I will show you that I'm not. And that's not fun for anyone.

We were all  born to fuck each other, one way or another.


You must enter an Intro for your Diary Entry between 300 and 1150 characters long (that's approximately 50-175 words without any html or formatting markup).

Cop: Are those drugs?
Me: Is that a rocket launcher?
Cop: It’s my gun, not a rocket launcher.
Me: It’s weed, not drugs.

How to annoy someone:

1) Pretend to know something
2) Offer to share it
3) Write out an ironic list
4) Title it “How to annoy someone”

Bull: talking to himself Remember man, the red cape is a trick. You got this.
gate opens

God said “Let there be light,” and ninjas were like “Dude what the fuck.”

Extended (Optional)


I'm an enigma wrapped in a philosopher surrounded by a romantic enveloped by a know-it-all radiating disapproval wearing a safety helmet

26%22 votes
13%11 votes
60%50 votes

| 83 votes | Vote | Results

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