In a great day for America, for the first time in its history, a non-white man will be elected Speaker.
It is truly an exceptional story, because only in America could a non-white person be elected Speaker of the United States House of Representatives.
It is fitting that this happens 4 years since the first woman was elected Speaker and 2 years after the inauguration of the first African-American President.
But sadly, there are already rumors swirling around John Boehner. One false rumor is that, as a Tan-American, he must have been born in Tanzania. This is just a slur, and when you think about it, makes no sense really.
Some conservatives accused Democrats of purposefully picking on his ethnicity by including a tax on tanning salons in the latest round of healthcare reform.
This is also incorrect because this just discourages people from trying to change their ethnicity to Tan and reap social benefits.
What this really means as that no matter if your name sounds like Hussein or Boner, no matter the color of your skin you can always succeed in America, as long as you can raise a shitton of cash from the wealthy.
Note: I could have waited till the actual inauguration of the Speaker, but by then someone else would have done this exact joke but come up with something more funny, and nobody ever reads my diaries anyway.