Disclaimer I am not now nor have I ever been a member of the military, but nothing makes me more frothing mad than something like this.



I'd drop trou and do it, too. That's me, though. I want a million cool points for these guys. Is that harsh to say?

Come on, people. This is a war.


Well Dana, you are 33-years old, clearly physically fit and appear to be in good health. I am sure that only taking those factors under consideration that the Marine Corps would love to have you.  

So do it. Join the Marine Corps.

Trade in what I can only guess is your ridiculous radio/TV personality salary and get paid $1500 a month as a Marine private.

Go through Marine Corps Recruit Training on Parris Island, then Marine Combat Training at Camp Geiger.

Learn to live the military code of Duty, Honor, Country.

Volunteer for service in Afghanistan as a member of a frontline Female Engagement Team embedded with combat Marines in Helmand province.

Attend mission briefing after mission briefing in which your officers tell you that victory will not be measured in 'how many times you re-up for ammo, but how many cups of chai you drink with the elders'

Spend the next seven months of your combat tour engaging the local female population. Working day in and day out to build up trust & rapport with the Afghan people to convince them we are nothing like the brutal Soviets or murderous Taliban that occupied their lands before us. Work to glean intelligence through the hard work of counterinsurgency.

Attend a few farewell ceremonies for fallen comrades.

Get shot at a few times. Learn what its like to drive a road thats been secured from IEDs because the locals trust us, and one that hasn't been. Scan your sectors and watch your comrade's back. Learn firsthand that your actions affect the safety and success of every Marine around you.

And then, when all your hard work and sacrifice pays off and a notorious Taliban sniper...only found out because his female cousin turned him in after you looked her in the eye that she was doing the humane and just thing for her country and family...lays dead at your platoon's feet...

I then challenge you to have a fellow Marine take a video of you pissing on the dead sniper's head. "Drop trou", squat, think of Missouri and urinate on his exposed brainstem.

As you do it, look directly into the camera, and with a straight face recite this quote by then-general George Washington:

“‘Treat them with humanity, and let them have no reason to complain of our copying the brutal example of the British Army in their treatment of our unfortunate brethren who have fallen into their hands,’

Then I will believe you when you say you'd 'join in.' Good job, you proved yourself so much more tougher than those punk-ass Navy SEALs who gave Osama Bin Laden a burial in accordance with Islamic teachings.  

And then I'd no longer be disgusted, but just feel sorry for you.

Because at the end of the day, you won't be pissing on some wasted human being...you'll instead be pissing on all the hard work and sacrifice of the 1,800 Americans who have never come home from Afghanistan, and all those fallen before them. All those who gave their last breaths trying to get Afghans to trust us instead of the Taliban. And all those before them who knew our most powerful weapon was our basic belief in human dignity.

Make no mistake Dana. If I'm a hardened terrorist in the Pakistan mountains or a commander in Iran's Revolutionary Guard, trying to convince a squad of scared recruits to strap bombs to their chest and detonate themselves amongst American soldiers rather than flee, surrender, or 'fight with honor'...get them to believe bullshit anti-American propaganda that we're all there just to brutalize and insult Islamic culture...I'd just show them that video. It would do all the work for me.

Be sure to send a copy to Andrew Breitbart, I'm sure it will fulfill a fantasy of his.

Rant over.

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