OK

Another excellent New Rule from Bill Maher, who took the GOP to task for being the ones who are really trying to divide Americans against one another, while blaming Obama for doing exactly that.

And finally, New Rule, the GOP candidates must save us all a lot of time by just telling us which parts of America they don't hate.

You know, so many Republicans nowadays speak with unbridled disgust for America's East coast elites, and San Francisco liberals, and the Hollywood cesspool, and the inside the Beltway mentality, and Chicago-style politics.  And then they accuse Obama of dividing America.

They say how can we be one nation under God if Democrats keep talking about the two Americas, and the haves and have nots, and the 99% versus the 1%.  But there are two Americas.  We are a nation of haves and have nots.  And when it comes to dividing America, it's Republicans who in recent years have carved out a nation into two distinct territories.  There's the heartland, and then there's the rest of the country: a vast nightmarish wasteland of college professors, museums, and people who recycle.

I mean, just think of the list of these parts of America the Republics (sic) are publicly bitching about.  Chicago, that lawless hellhole where Obama learned how to thug.  Hawaii, the state liberals made up so Obama could become President.  Hollywood, and San Francisco, and... oh fuck it, let's just say all of California, except for Orange County and the shitty parts of the Valley.

Full transcript below the fold.

And finally, New Rule, the GOP candidates must save us all a lot of time by just telling us which parts of America they don't hate.

You know, so many Republicans nowadays speak with unbridled disgust for America's East coast elites, and San Francisco liberals, and the Hollywood cesspool, and the inside the Beltway mentality, and Chicago-style politics.  And then they accuse Obama of dividing America.

They say how can we be one nation under God if Democrats keep talking about the two Americas, and the haves and have nots, and the 99% versus the 1%.  But there are two Americas.  We are a nation of haves and have nots.  And when it comes to dividing America, it's Republicans who in recent years have carved out a nation into two distinct territories.  There's the heartland, and then there's the rest of the country: a vast nightmarish wasteland of college professors, museums, and people who recycle.

I mean, just think of the list of these parts of America the Republics (sic) are publicly bitching about.  Chicago, that lawless hellhole where Obama learned how to thug.  Hawaii, the state liberals made up so Obama could become President.  Hollywood, and San Francisco, and... oh fuck it, let's just say all of California, except for Orange County and the shitty parts of the Valley.

I mean, just mention Massachusetts with a big eye roll, and it's an automatic applause break at the CPAC convention.  "Taxachusetts!"  Yeah, the state that's #1 in education, #1 in health coverage, and is basically where our country started?  Yeah, screw them.

Honestly, if Sarah Palin were President, and terrorists struck New York again, she would say two things.  First, is Mount Rushmore OK?  And two, well at least they didn't hit the "real" America.

Democrats don't do this.  Jerry Brown doesn't stand under the Hollywood sign and say, "Now I don't know if this will play in Texas (rolls eyes) or down on the farms, where they have no values and fuck chickens, but you here in Hollywood are the real Americans!"  It never happens!

Pretty soon the only parts of America acceptable to the Right will be Boise, Idaho, Branson, Missouri, and a nursing home in Florida with the six remaining Cubans who still give a shit about Castro.  (wild audience applause)

And yet, somehow they keep finding more parts of America to hate.  Last week, Newt Gingrich blasted New York elites who "live in high rises and ride the subway".  I shit you not!  Newt Gingrich called the subway elitist!  Because that's the ultimate in hoity-toity travel, if you're able to smell pee while a vagrant presses his dick against your thigh.  I mean, subway riders, they think they're so great, packed ass to crotch in a shrieking, creaking, lurching, airless underground tube!  Pfft!  Why don't they travel like real Americans, on a spaceship to the Moon?  (wild audience applause)

And mind you, Newt made these comments while in Las Vegas.  In Las Vegas, he said elitists live in high rises!  Unlike real Americans, who live in pyramids, pirate ships, castles, and the canals of Venice.  Yes, Newt and his fellow Republicans are deep patriots, who can't stop loving America, except for the American people.  They don't really care for those freaks at all.

And especially not elitists.  And anyone who's ever learned a foreign language, visited a foreign nation, or read a book that wasn't about a 5-year-old going to heaven, is an elitist.  'Cause you know where people read, don't you?  The subway.

Originally posted to Electronic America: Progressives Film, music & Arts Group on Fri Feb 10, 2012 at 08:44 PM PST.

Also republished by DKOMA.

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