Hi There, Hoodies and Hoodettes!
Shoot-em-up Charlie here!
By now you know that I get to help vigilante-types kill unarmed people-- and the best part is, it's perfectly LEGAL!
Thanks to my friends at the NRA & ALEC, who write the laws and then feed them to politicians all over the country.
If you feel threatened by a punk packin' dangerous Skittles-- shoot, shoot, SHOOT!
But ALEC & I, we're not just one-shot wonders.
We're funded by millions and millions of corporate dollars working to undermine things like . . . Health Care Reform!
In other words, I help corporations SHOOT you, and then deny you coverage for a pre-existing condition!
It's all about getting the laws we write into statehouses everywhere through our complicit lawmakers.
Which'd sound like a crazy conspiracy if it weren't truuuue!
We write so many laws and distribute them through our member-politicians, it's like shooting fish in a barrel.
From blocking Health Care Reform, to gutting environmental laws to busting unions and pushing private prisons, it's a right-with, rapid-fire turkey shoot!
But LAWS don't kill people.
Laws introduced by pliable politicians backed by a shadowy organization funded by huge corporations kill people.