OK

Got a minute? I was going to scream into the universe, but the cat starts looking at me funny. Just need to vent a bit.
I tell ya. No matter what we do we can't get ahead.

Work work work. As much as we can, and in today's job market that is piecemeal. Nothing is full time, they offer you the minimum amount for more and more work.

I have two jobs, Mr pale works at many jobs.
He has a "job job"  that hasn't called him in in a few months since business has dropped off, and works at self employed endeavours for the rest.  It gets thinner and thinner all the time.
In the crash of '08 (as I call it), it started with the death of the construction industry here in my small community. Then customers started waffling on their bills, a couple ran out on them, and it costs more to go hound it down. It's like a domino effect isn't it? You then dig into the credit cards to cover basics because there is no income even though you worked the hours.  

Add that to the regular stresses that all of us have. Kids. The bills.
Man. The bills. They are starting to overtake us. They started getting late a few months back, and this has become a trend.  I had a really good credit score, and was informed today that that is no longer the case. *blink*
Ya.

Today it got so crushing I went into the walk in freezer at work and burst into tears. The blowers covered the sound, and no one was the wiser when I emerged from the -28 "cold place".  I find myself being very forgetful from the stress and a couple times today I just couldn't breathe. Panic attacks. Oh boy.

This month it looks like we will make the mortgage payment, not so sure on the property taxes.

I know. Many people here in Canada pay extra on the mortgage and then it's all automatic at tax time. I always intend to do that, or to set up the payments to the city on a monthly basis. It just never seems we have the cash to do that.

I have no idea if that cheque fairy is going to arrive in time to let us make the tax payment.  How embarrassing eh?

This sound familiar? Betcha it does. We are not homeless, we have work. Just not enough of it. We try to pay our bills, but cannot if other people don't.

On and on it goes.

We don't eat out, and I make just about everything from scratch. We eat only what is on sale. We buy everything second hand when possible.
I have cut all the perks out of life pretty much. It's not too perky around here right now.

I praise my car whenever it gets me home. I hope that Mr pale's work van holds it together long enough until things get better. (He's not going to be able to build anything if he has to transport lumber and materials on a bus. )
In the back of my mind, I know they won't get better. But it is the human condition to keep your head down and nose to the grindstone and just keep plugging away isn't it?  A brighter future and a light at the end of the tunnel.

So here I sit tonight, my head feels like it is about to blow off.  I am a few seconds away from another panic attack.
About a month ago I had to go into emerg....Seems I was bleeding internally.
Diverticulitis, and a side order of Crohn's was the medical consensus.  Good old stress is not going to help with that for sure and was probably what caused the bleed. At least the hospital was covered by medical.
Crohn's meds, not so much. The Dr winced at the thought of paying for those.
I can manage the diet, but have not been able to eat really. The mortgage diet.

I am not alone. I know that so many of you are in the same situation. I know many are in a worse situation. I then feel guilty for whining and carrying on.  

So. Have at it.
Complaints?  
We have tea, and sympathy.
Any ideas on how to get rich by next Tuesday? :)

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