OK

Hands forking over $100 bills.
Campaign finance, David Rivera-style.
Rep. David Rivera, down in southern Florida, has great lawyers. No one can deny that. So perhaps he should work with them to improve his law-breaking skills.

Goal ThermometerThe quick backstory: Rivera is worried about his Democratic opponent Joe Garcia, so he gets a fake Democrat to run in the primary and pays for mailers with cash-stuffed envelopes. The mailers go to black neighborhoods in an attempt to syphon Garcia's strong African American support. If enough such voters vote for the fake guy, then a weaker Democrat wins the primary. It's kind of what happened in the Missouri Senate race, minus the "following the law" part.

It didn't work, and now Rivera is trying to convince people that he had nothing to do with the thing he had everything to do with. He's being, uh, less than persuassive.

Rivera strenuously denied the allegation Wednesday night in a televised interview on America TeVé's (Ch. 41) A Mano Limpia, insisting that he has no connection to the Sternad campaign, claiming Borrero lied and that the Miami Herald and El Nuevo Herald produced "nonsense and slander" in league with Garcia's campaign.

"I'm going to move forward, focused on my work," Rivera said.

Rivera — who denies ever knowing Sternad — also produced a copy of a new campaign report for Sternad that purported to show, for the first time, that the Democrat's campaign had paid Rapid Mail.

Dude, you're supposed to plant the fake evidence where investigators can find it, not hand the forgeries over yourself! Shit, don't they teach you this stuff in criminal school? Now you have to explain this:
Rivera didn't explain how he got the report, and Federal Elections Commission officials told the Miami Herald and El Nuevo Herald on Wednesday that the document had not been received yet by the FEC.
You see? Plant the evidence next time! Sheesh.

Miami-Dade police is investigating, but given how the entire South Florida criminal justice system conspired to let Rivera off the hook last year, don't expect much from that corrupt crowd. On the other hand, the FBI is on the case, and that spells serious trouble for Rivera. (Not to mention, they're already investigating him on a separate matter, so three investigations in two years.)

Rivera decided to do his impression of the world's worst criminal because he feared Joe Garcia more than he feared possible jail time. Let's help validate those fears: donate $3 to Joe Garcia right now!

Oh, and Rivera? If you want to play comic book villain, start wearing a monocle. Might as well complete the look.

11:48 AM PT: We got to wondering when the deadline was for Rivera to get off the ballot, assuming things are going to get a lot worse for him and Republicans are going to want a not-crook on the ballot.

David Nir looked it up. Once primary results are certified, candidates can't get off the ballot. That happened ... this morning. The GOP will go into the election with the candidate they have, not the non-criminal they'll wish they had when this is all said and done.

Originally posted to kos on Thu Aug 23, 2012 at 11:25 AM PDT.

Also republished by Daily Kos.

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