Who steals my purse steals trash;It's not nice to make fun of a person's name, but I must confess that I've been reluctant to employ the moniker the Republican candidate for President apparently prefers because I don't think he's entitled to be called what he wants. He's not earned that courtesy. Indeed, his often rude behavior towards other people merits, if anything, him being dissed in return. Romney has ruined his own good name.
'Twas mine, 'tis his, and has been slave to thousands;
But he that filches from me my good name
Robs me of that which not enriches him,
And makes me poor indeed.
Othello Act 3, scene 3, 157–161
So, while I have generally referred to the candidate by his given first name, when I discovered the word mingy the other day, Mingy Mitt sounded quite prefect for a fellow that's both mean and stingy. Now that he wants to fire Big Bird, there's no question. So, Mingy Mitt it shall be.
And that, it turns out, has prompted a whole littany of what might be called Romneyisms:
hypocrite becomes Mittocrite
hypocrisy becomes Mittocrisy
mendacity becomes Mittdacity
metaphor becomes Mittaphor
mythology becomes Mittology
mythomaniac becomes Mittomaniac
make-believe becomes Mitt-believe
mountebank becomes Mittebank
methodology becomes Mittodology
middleman becomes Mittleman
Middle Ages become Mittle Ages
middling becomes Mittling
misanthropy become Mittanthropy
misappropriation becomes Mittappropriation
misbehavior becomes Mittbehavior
misrepresentation becomes Mittrepresentation
misbelief becomes Mittbelief
miscarriage of justice becomes Mittcarriage of justice
mischance becomes Mittchance
mischief becomes Mittchief
misconduct becomes Mittconduct
misconstrue becomes Mittconstrue
misdeed becomes Mittdeed
misdemeanor becomes Mittdemeanor (or Mitt-the-meaner)
miserable becomes Mitterable
misfortune becomes Mittfortune
misgiving becomes Mittgiving
misguided becomes Mittguided
mistake becomes Mittake
misinterpretation becomes Mittinterpretation
misinform becomes Mittinform
misjudge becomes Mittjudge
mislead becomes Mittlead
misogyny becomes Mittogyny
misquote becomes Mittquote
misshapen becomes Mittshapen
mistreat becomes Mittreat
unmitigated fraud, etc., becomes unMittigated fraud, etc.
Funny how a morpheme can mirror an emotional state. If this strikes you as a lame effort, blame the spouse. Obviously, being prejudiced (Ann Romney would understand), I think it's totally clever.
And we all share the hope that the salutation, "Mister President," does not get turned into Mitter President. That would be a truly unMittigated disaster.
Did Mitt grow up to be a mean and stingy person because kids made fun of his name? I tend to doubt it. More likely, his privileged status shielded him from being taught that the bully might get his way, but he won't be liked and he doesn't deserve respect.
Can Big Bird teach him? Probably not. What kind of person picks on a Muppet, never mind threatening to fire the person who's interviewing him for a job?
Yes, our Big Bird is special; and our Big Bird is great
So, when Mitt plans to sack her,
We all get quite irate.