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U.S. Vice-President Joe Biden has called Republican VP nominee Paul Ryan's mother to apologize for the vicious ass-kicking he gave her son in Thursday night's debate.

The fiery match between the two men featured 69-year old Biden schooling 42-year old Ryan on Afghanistan, Medicare, taxes, and the economy.

The smackdown was so complete that a snap poll conducted by TDC News showed that 78% of undecided voters felt "embarrassed" for Ryan and 69% thought future debates should include a "mercy rule".

Biden decided to made the conciliatory call while on an Amtrack train back to Washington. A reporter travelling with the Vice-President recorded the conversation, and released the tape exclusively to The Daily Currant:

"Hi Betty it's Joe. I just called to apologize for what I did to your son tonight."

"You and I both know I had to kick his ass. It's my job. But I didn't have to embarrass him like a little bitch in front of 50 million people. I got a little carried away. I'm sorry."

"I think little Paulie has a lot potential. Have him call me in a few years when he's ready to debate like a man."

"Oh and I uh...I hope this doesn't affect our relationship. We're still on for Boca next March right?...Fantastic!"

 This article is republished from The Daily Currant, a new source for news satire.

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Originally posted to The Daily Currant on Fri Oct 12, 2012 at 10:00 AM PDT.

Also republished by Daily Kos Satire.

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