Somewhere in an alternative universe, on the other side of Kolob where anti-matter rules, there exists a Bizarro World where Mitt Rmoney won the Presidency and the TEA/gop party took control of the Senate.

Nathan Gold and Sam Tang have been arrested for voter suppression and fraud. Rasmussen will be in charge of the 2020 Census and advise States on redistricting.

Vice President Elect, Raul Pyan, has been put in charge of ushering their budget through the 113th Congress. The Rmoney/Pyan plan calls for the elimination of all investment taxes retroactive to 2009 when President Obama first took office. This will reduce Rmoney’s taxes for those years to 0%.

Banking, energy, and asthma drug stocks took the DOW to an all time high. Beer, wine, spirits, tea, and coffee stocks plunged. Bain Capital is expected to get the contract to manage Social Security funds. FEMA will be privatized and become a subsidiary of Staples.

The 53% who pay taxes will get relief on State and local taxes once public education is outlawed. Science and math will be elective non-credit courses at all grade levels.

In just one week, the U.S. population dropped by 10% as brown skinned people migrated South and liberals departed for Canada. Repeal of minimum wages laws is expected. “Labor Day” will be replaced by “Job Creator Day” as a national holiday.

The President Elect’s wife, Ayn Rmoney, was given the task of upgrading the U.S. Calvary. She will head the training program for dancing horses. Tagg Rmoney’s recently acquired Chinese company, Bayonets Inc., was awarded the largest military contract in history. The bombing of Iran is to commence at 12:01 on January 21, 2013.

Glenn Beck is expected to be the first Mormon appointed to the Supreme Court. John Bolton will head back to the UN, once remodeling has removed the top 10 floors. Dr. Marcus Bachmann will head the new Cabinet position as our first Secretary of Heterosexuality.

MSNBC fired everyone except Joe Scarborough. Daily Kos members were put on the “no fly” list.

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