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Crazy Conservative Conspiracy Theory of the Week
We all know that President Obama is capable of extraordinary things. After all, we're talking about a man who managed to sneak a forged birth announcement into papers and suborn the testimony of nurses and officials in the sure knowledge that he would one day be president—and do it all before he was a month old. That's impressive.

But maybe not as impressive as this important annoucement from the financial advisors at Stansberry Research.

Most people believe that this election was about whether Obama will have a second term.
 
But it was not.
 
What was actually at stake was whether or not he will have a third term.
A third term? Sure that seems perfectly reasonable. But, how will Obama manage to be so popular?
There's a secret to how we know Obama will seek a third term. There's a secret to how he'll garner the power to win, yet again... and keep power through 2020-- or even beyond.
So tell us, what is the secret that will bring us President for Life Obama?

According to Porter Stansberry, he's no fan of Obama. In fact, he says of the president...

I don't admire him. ...  

I don't care for his class warfare politics… or the way he's lived his life. He's never had a real job. ... He tells one lie after another… and then grandstands on his “integrity.”

He's nothing but a charlatan.

But yet, this charlatan will become "the greatest president in U.S. history." How is that possible?

It's possible because the economy is going to be good. Really good. So, so good, that even though Obama will be "terrible socialist" and the worst "tyrant in American history" while gutting 401K accounts to fund government debt, that he will still become "an idol" and an unstoppable force at the polls. And apparently an unstoppable force with the Congress and all the states required to toss that irritating 22nd Amendment. Put it all together and Obama will become a president clothed in really, really snazzy jackets and super immense power for a really long time.

But what is the secret sauce that will power Papa Obama? Oil.

Stansberry predicts that a looming oil boom will shift America's economy into hyperdrive, despite all the nasty socialist roadblocks Obama throws in its way. Obama will use this newfound wealth to fund "his friends in Cuba" and to buy the votes of millions with nothing to do but live on the petro-dole.

In other words, Barack Obama will become... Hugo Chavez Sarah Palin, only not in such a hurry to join the ranks of reality TV stars.

Stansberry bolsters the argument with a lot of charts on oil drilling, which has somehow soared to unprecedented levels despite how much we've been told that Obama stands in the way of, you know, oil drilling. And he knows how people will react because Stansberry really understands the American dream.

These predictions might surprise you. But when this comes to pass, what will shock you is how millions of Americans will applaud these changes. Your neighbors don't want freedom. They don't want lower taxes. They don't want more opportunity.

You know what they want? More handouts.

Sound unbelievable? You'd better believe it! After all, Stansberry is quick to point out that he called the 2008 collapse. And he called President Obama's reelection, too, though he doesn't seem to have told anyone about this call in advance. In fact, you only have to look back at Stansberry's history to see how... to see... Hmmm.
Stansberry's 2011 online video and infomercial titled "End of America" paints a grim picture of the financial future of the United States. The 77-minute video forecasts the end of America's global economic dominance, which Stansberry predicts will ultimately result in rioting and protests across the country.

...

To prepare for the economic collapse, he advises stocking up on gold and silver, moving assets abroad, and pursuing bearish investment strategies. He also advises stocking up food, water, and other basic supplies away from urban areas.

Well, that certainly happened. Besides, that was a pre-election prediction. Now that Obama is in place again, it's time for the New American Petro Century.

If you want all the details of Obama's oil-powered destiny, check here, but before you get too tempted to print those Obama / Calculon 3012 bumperstickers, you might want to know that the SEC previously filed charges against Stansberry for "a scheme to defraud public investors by disseminating false information in several Internet newsletters."

I'm certain that information was nothing like this. After all Stansberry says...

I've spent three years of my life studying these new events. At first, like you, I didn't believe it was possible. But... after spending more than $100,000 on this research and after spending month after month researching this topic, I'm now certain it is real.
Sorry Joe and Hillary, you're just going to have to wait.

Originally posted to Devil's Tower on Wed Nov 21, 2012 at 08:14 AM PST.

Also republished by Daily Kos.

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