Sorry...was I shouting? Its just the Spiteful Schadenfreude Monkey within is dancing with glee.
For my chums NOSTRADUMBASS DAY is nearly here.
Oh yes indeedy, the Glorious 22nd is nearly upon us.
The glorious, wonderful Golden Ticket Day
The day we of the rational and reasonable real world get to start delivering HitchSlap after HitchSlap to those Ancient Aliens loving f*ckgiraffes who for years have been flooding the interwebby, from endless brain dead New Age wibble self made sites, through the blogosphere, to YouTube with a sh*t tsunami of drivel and pseudo science.
Yes my cold hearted rational chums.... NOSTRADUMBASS DAY COMETH
Now, as my fellow despiser of dumbasses Troubadour wrote in his diary at http://www.dailykos.com/...
Often it seems like the consequences of both stupidity and intelligence just end up being spread around to everyone equally regardless of their relative contribution, so on balance it ends up that mind-numbing ignorance is rewarded and thoughtful behavior punished. We must end this intellectual Marxism and impose some rigorous accountability, starting with this Mayan apocalypse bullshit. It's fun to explore mythology and indulge in zeitgeist, but when you take fairy tales and children's stories seriously, you my friend are a moron and need to be mercilessly mocked and exploited. You need to have a dunce cap super-glued to your head and be paraded before the normals like a circus monkey.Love that thinking there matey, and the suggestions are ace....
However, may I add a few suggestions:
Spend a few sheckles on a self printed T Shirt for your associate who believes in the Mayan goofball cackola. Make it bright and attention grabbing. Print some appropriate message on there in big fat bold letters.
How about NOSTRADUMBASS for example...or maybe
Or why not invite them out on the 22nd for a drinkypoo at your local bar? Make sure to invite all your mates, and as the cockmonkey Planet X fan walks in all dive under the table screaming comically AAAAAAAAARGH NIBIRU IS UPON US.
Or how about you turn up to your local Poetry Slam bar, or event, with said f*ckgiraffe in tow, and get up on stage to perform a little poem for them? Don't forget to introduce the poem by asking the audience if there are any other Mayan Death Star X fans in there as well and dedicate the poem to ALL of them.
Here is the poem I suggest.... its an old classic by the Bard Of Salford, Mr John Cooper Clarke.
Like a Night Club in the morning, you’re the bitter end.Of course there is always the really easy option. Just walk up to them and laugh...loud and continually....in their faces. Keep doing it till they crawl back under the kitchen table and agree never to go near a keyboard again.
Like a recently disinfected shit-house, you’re clean round the bend.
You give me the horrors, too bad to be true
All of my tomorrow’s are lousy coz of you.
You put the Shat in Shatter
Put the Pain in Spain
Your germs are splattered about
Your face is just a stain
You’re certainly no raver, commonly known as a drag.
Do us all a favour, here... wear this polythene bag.
You’re like a dose of scabies,
I’ve got you under my skin.
You make life a fairy tale... Grimm!
People mention murder, the moment you arrive.
I’d consider killing you if I thought you were alive.
You’ve got this slippery quality,
it makes me think of phlegm,
and a dual personality
I hate both of them.
Your bad breath, vamps disease, destruction, and decay.
Please, please, please, please, take yourself away.
Like a death a birthday party,
you ruin all the fun.
Like a sucked and spat out Smartie,
you’re no use to anyone.
Like the shadow of the guillotine
on a dead consumptive’s face.
Speaking as an outsider,
what do you think of the human race
You went to a progressive psychiatrist.
He recommended suicide...
before scratching your bad name off his list,
and pointing the way outside.
You hear laughter breaking through, it makes you want to fart.
You’re heading for a breakdown,
better pull yourself apart.
Your dirty name gets passed about when something goes amiss.
Your attitudes, platitudes, just make me wanna piss.
What kind of creature bore you
Was is some kind of bat
They can’t find a good word for you,
but I can...
So, come on my fellow haters of the Time Cube Cockmonkeys, Ancient Aliens Asshats, Planet X Pieholefiddlers and Mayan Doomsday Douchebags.... GET YOUR MOB ON!
Make the 22nd December 2012 the day we start to take the net back off these clowns and copro-sages. Do the right thing....dont just flame these dimwits....drop a 5000lb canister of napalm on their heads. Wake up, turn on, and go find some vids on YouTube to post NyaaaNyaaaa comments under. Embrace the Spite Monkey within. Its fun, its cathartic, and maybe we can shame these cockmonkeys into becoming lock in agrophobes who stay offline and away from the rational world.
Cos sometimes, you just have to be cruel to be kind.
Dec 22nd 2012 is NOSTRADUMBASS DAY
Spread the word.