Nope, not a paraphrase on my part...
Offering you a behind-the-scenes look at how very serious negotiations operate at the highest levels of government, for your late night amusement:
House Speaker John Boehner couldn’t hold back when he spotted Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid in the White House lobby last Friday.Ha. Ha.
It was only a few days before the nation would go over the fiscal cliff, no bipartisan agreement was in sight, and Reid had just publicly accused Boehner of running a “dictatorship” in the House and caring more about holding onto his gavel than striking a deal.
“Go f— yourself,” Boehner sniped as he pointed his finger at Reid, according to multiple sources present.
Reid, a bit startled, replied: “What are you talking about?”
Boehner repeated: “Go f— yourself.”
The harsh exchange just a few steps from the Oval Office — which Boehner later bragged about to fellow Republicans — was only one episode in nearly two months of high-stakes negotiations laced with distrust, miscommunication, false starts and yelling matches as Washington struggled to ward off $500 billion in tax hikes and spending cuts.
I can almost see Boehner suddenly lunging at Reid, tackling him to the ground as the punches start flying.
Shocked staffers colliding, Starbucks cups flying, hot liquid stains of death spraying all living things within a ten foot radius—collateral damage in a brawl they never could've predicted.
In case you hadn't noticed, we're in deep fucking shit with these fools running the show.
Here's the entire article, with all the juicy details.
4:20 AM PT: In my imaginary scenario, Reid, though initially surprised at Boehner's rather rude display of affection, throws Boehner off him, gets up, pulling Boehner up with him. Reid then proceeds to give Boehner a demonstration of his prior athletic capabilities. Boehner subsequently gives in to all of our demands. Fiscal cliff avoided. Democratic Party intact. /fantasy