This is just a quick mention of something I ran into in comments to a previous humor diary. It's apparently a flyer circulated by (presumably) Christians warning children about atheists, but not in the annoying, stick-up-the-ass way you might be used to - it's some of the cutest shit I've ever seen, even with the deranged caption below warning that we will try to "trick" children into abandoning religion. I can't vouch for its authenticity, but in any case thanks to crystal eyes for bringing it to my attention [sorry, folks - turns out it was from a joke site, but feel free to read the rest and respond for entertainment purposes]:
"Atheists such as crotchety Mr. Gruff think they've got it all figured out..." Bwaaaahahaha! Isn't that old goat in the bathrobe with the cup of coffee the most endearing mascot of atheism ever? That's way cuter than the Flying Spaghetti Monster or the Invisible Pink Unicorn. I'm tempted to use that goat as my avatar. It seems the fundies have discovered the awesome power of kawaii, and are now deploying it with utter ruthlessness.
I know I should be outraged that they accuse atheists of being happiness-killing monsters who conspire to deceive children, but...the cartoon is just so damn cute. The words are completely deranged, of course - "advanced witnessing techniques"...yeah, believing in tribal fables because you were told to involves some real skills there, Jebediah / Ezekiel / Mary Margaret Betty Sue. But the artwork is like something from an 8-bit NES game box, and makes me feel all warm and fuzzy. Confess, you sneaky bastards: You hired a professional design studio, didn't you? One that does ads for manga?
"But then why are they always so sad?" This is cute too. The things is, Amus / Zacharaiah / Lisa Beth Judy Jane, happy atheists are too busy enjoying themselves to waste time talking to you. You talk to a lot of unhappy atheists because they're the ones who are lonely enough to let you in the door.
And besides, part of it is just a reaction to your arbitrary framing of the question. You people seem negative and grumpy too when the subject is other religions than yours, but you don't seem to interpret your reaction as evidence that your God makes you unhappy. So why would you interpret atheists being "grouchy" when you're pestering them with your Sumerian campfire tales as their being generally unhappy? Do you bother to ask them what joys they have in life, or do you just assume because they don't have your Magic Muffin in their hearts, that their lives must be empty and meaningless? Do you care about the art they create, the music, the carpentry, the pets and children they raise, the books they love, the plants they garden, or is it all just about you and your beliefs?
Your flyer has tickled me into addressing you this far, but the real world - and the infinite cosmos in which it moves - is bigger and more complex than the people who wrote your Bible could possibly have imagined, and more awesome than the dreams of religion could ever hope to encompass. But keep working on this cuteness thing. It's more attractive than threatening people with eternal torture if they don't obey the dictates of a bunch of dead sheep herders.
Sat Jan 05, 2013 at 10:38 PM PT: I'm actually disappointed that this flyer turns out to have been a joke. I really thought it hinted at unsuspected depth in religious people. :(