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As Treasurer of the United States, Mrs. Rios (or would it be Mrs. Gumataotao?  I never could get the rule straight for Hispanic names) has heretofore had a boring job.  On her first day in office, she signed her name.  There has not been much for her to do ever since.  It is not easy being a token.  Because the position is a do-nothing job, women have been assigned to that post for over sixty years (no self-respecting man would take it).  Recently, this position has been made to do double-duty, since more often than not of late, the Treasurer has also been Hispanic (or would that be “Latina”?  I haven’t gotten the rule straight on that one either).  In any event, she helps fill two quotas, which is very important right now, inasmuch as there has been a lot of talk lately about all the white males in Obama’s administration.

So, she mostly sits around all day looking at her signature on Federal Reserve Notes, and wondering if there isn’t something else she might do to make herself useful.  Technically, she advises the Director of the Mint (“I think the new quarters should have a little more serration”) and the Director of the Bureau of Engraving and Printing (“Make sure my signature is just as large as that of the Secretary of the Treasury”).  Her degree in Romance languages comes in handy, just in case the Mint should misspell e pluribus unum, or the Bureau should misspell Annuit coeptis or Novus ordo seclorum, in which case she will be sure to catch it.  Mostly though, life goes on without her.

But that may soon change.  If the president decides to have a trillion dollar coin minted, he will need to consult with her on this matter.  Much in the way the lion turned to the mouse to get a thorn removed from his paw, so too will the most powerful man on earth have to turn to the most useless bureaucrat in Washington to save the country from going into default.  When that day comes, it will be a much needed source of pride for women and Hispanics everywhere.

Unfortunately, there is a rumor going around that the impending debt ceiling crisis is causing the president to reconsider his appointment of Rios.  It is said that her replacement will not be based on any consideration of gender.  “The only thing that matters,” he was heard to say, “is that we get the right man for the job.”

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