If you're having a bad day, just imagine what sexual position you were conceived in. Chin up.

Honestly, I don’t give a fuck if she spits, swallows, or saves that shit in a Tupperware. What she does after the blowjob is her business.

Some people may be hotter than you, some may be in better shape, but remember: Everyone looks stupid when they yawn.

I know it may be hard to believe, but I've never stuck my toe in a vagina.

"As I sipped whiskey in the bathroom at Starbucks, I finally admitted that my life had gone off the rails."

As long as you've smoked enough PCP, it's never too late to have a happy childhood.

You can freebase anything if you try really hard.


Weed only fucks up your memory if you’re a dumbass to begin with?

45%22 votes
10%5 votes
43%21 votes

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